


you made your mark on me (golden tattoo)

by breaktrio



Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven GO
Genre: #Bianca too shes a unknown girl from the games, A little bit of Endou Daisuke bashing, Alternate Universe, And some hinted ships, But it's GO timeline, Chrono Stone probably never happened but Fifth Sector did, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Road Trips, Side FDKD, but it's only mentioned, they love each other and i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24597304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breaktrio/pseuds/breaktrio
Summary: Endou is sad. Gouenji loves him too much. So, they go to Italy.
Relationships: Endou Mamoru/Gouenji Shuuya, Fudou Akio/Kidou Yuuto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	you made your mark on me (golden tattoo)

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from dress by taylor swift.

1.  
  
Standing in a busy airport, Shuuya can say he officially lost his mind. He has two small suitcases with him, one, black, for himself and the other, orange, for his not-so-happy companion, Endou Mamoru.  
  
It is weird to see Endou not happy, or overly enthusiast, curious and active, but it has been months since Shuuya saw him make a smile that reached his eyes. And Shuuya knows why. He understands it. Endou did not take well his Grandpa’s death. The second one. The real one. And Shuuya tried and still tries to be a good friend, a comforting one. He was with Endou when he got the news, he held him when Endou broke down in the hallway of their old middle school, he went with him to the hospital (at this point, Daisuke left whatever country he was in to come back to Japan), to the funerary home, he stayed at Endou’s place for a few days, switching place with Kidou when he needed a break. But nothing was working, Endou was always sad. He still is. And all Shuuya wants it is to stop it.  
  
He hates it. He hates to see Endou so down, so lifeless. The worst is that he does not know what to say. He is a man of action, not a man of words. He says little, and he makes it count, but it is hard to find the right words when the most important person in your life is hurting. He cannot punch Daisuke in the face for dying. He was old, after all, but he wishes he could, blame him for everything and not feel guilty about it, like he did during FFI.  
  
And if he cannot _Fire Tornado_ it… he gets drunk with Kidou. So, they found themselves drunk and brainstorming ideas to how help their best friend, and then Kidou said something about Italy. And Fideo. And that made ring a bell in Shuuya’s brain. A trip. Holidays. One week? Too short. Two weeks in a beautiful European country, faraway from Inazuma Town and the memories of Endou Daisuke. Maybe that, would help Endou. That same night, still drunk, he made his assistant buy two tickets for a flight to Venice. And he called again to tell to book a car. Make it a road-trip in a beautiful European country. It was a crazy idea, first because he couldn’t drive for shit, so Endou needed to do it and Shuuya didn’t know if his friend would be up to it, second because he didn’t tell Endou what he planned for them.  
  
He still does not tell him when Shuuya crushes his place, telling him to get his suitcase and fill it with stuff enough for two weeks. Endou does it, after protesting a little, telling Shuuya that he does not want to go out or anything else. Shuuya, eyes sharp, only asks Endou to trust him. Endou shuts up, yes, but his lips are still pursed.  
  
Now, they are in Haneda Airport, after Shuuya’s driver left them, waiting for their gate to open. Endou is sitting on a bench, with frowning eyebrows, arms crossed on his chest, his orange bandana missing from his head (it’s such a weird sight and Shuuya isn’t still used to it yet), waiting for an explanation from Shuuya. That does not arrive because Shuuya is ignoring him on purpose, focusing his attention on his phone, checking messages, emails, and social network, so he doesn’t have to confront Endou on this.  
  
Everything about this is risky. And Shuuya does not do risky things, except when it comes to Endou Mamoru. He is a logical and rational man who seems to lose his mind when Endou stands next or behind him. He knows this since he was thirteen. He is simply and utterly weak for Endou. He knows that because for his other friends, even Kidou, he would not do any of this. But _this_ is about Endou, the same Endou who helped him overcome his fears, helped him to achieve everything he dreamed, patted his shoulder when he needed it. He cannot ignore it. He _needs_ to do something. And when Shuuya _does_ , he _does_ big.  
  
Yes, ridiculous, but he is also a very dramatic man.  
  
A robotic voice stops his train of thought, announcing that their gate is now open. Shuuya sighs and puts his phone back into his jeans pockets and looks at Endou.  
  
It is now or never. Well, not never, because they are getting on that plane, even if he must carry Endou on it.  
  
“It’s our flight.”  
  
Endou gives him a questioning look, but he does not get up.  
  
“We need to go, Endou, c’mon,” Shuuya says, his hand on the handle of his suitcase.  
  
“Where are we going?” for the first time in four hours, Endou speaks and the only thing Shuuya’s brain thinks is: _I missed his voice_.  
  
_Get a fucking grip, you loser_.  
  
“Didn’t you hear?” he answers, instead. He looks at his overpriced wristwatch to check the time, even if he knows they aren’t running late.  
  
It’s just that Shuuya is used to being late.  
  
“No, because I didn’t know I was supposed to _listen_ ,” Endou says, unkindly. It’s so weird, that tone in Endou’s voice, it doesn’t belong there, but also… he understands, he basically kidnapped his best friend, only asking him to trust him…  
  
“Italy.”  
  
Endou’s eyes are bigger now, full of shock. “What… we are going to… _Italy_?”  
  
“Yes, but only if we get on our plane on time,” it’s Shuuya’s answer and he’s trying to hide the affection in his tone because Endou’s face is adorable and his reaction is priceless.   
After the initial shock, Endou’s eyes shine for the first time in months and Shuuya feels like smile, teeth and all.  
  
Endou gets up “Why didn’t you tell me?” asks, while taking his suitcase and walking towards Shuuya.  
  
“It was… a surprise?” Shuuya starts walking, his boots hitting the airport’s pavement “Our gate is number 35, do you see any direction?”  
  
Endou laughs and Shuuya stops. He looks back and his long hair fall into his face for the sudden move. Shuuya puts his hair behind his ears, a bad habit he developed when he decided he didn’t want to style them up anymore.  
  
Why is he laughing? Shuuya is elated to hear Endou’s laugh, because, again, _he missed it,_ but he’s also confused.  
  
Endou’s smiling, “You are really terrible at this…”  
  
Shuuya looks down “Sorry… I…” because he doesn’t know what to say. He’s terrible at it… he… he, at least, he could’ve told him about the trip. Maybe, he could’ve organized a party? Giving him the tickets has a gift. Perhaps, Endou doesn’t even want Shuuya with him. He imposed himself… oh, Soccer Gods.  
  
“It’s okay, Gouenji! It’s… more than okay, actually!” and then Endou’s hugging him, not a hug, hug, but his arm’s solid against his shoulders and Shuuya stops his internal panicking to think _I really missed this. Him._  
  
“Really?”  
  
“We are going to Italy!” Endou shouts and Shuuya sees in Endou, for the first time in months, his best friend, the most important person in his life, the man he is in love with. And he is taking him to Italy.  
  
For two weeks.  
  
It’s going to be fine. They are together, after all.  
  
  
2.  
  
  
Nothing is going according to plan. It doesn’t surprise Shuuya. They are in another airport, in Frankfurt, Germany, after a twelve hours long flight waiting for the one that finally is going to take them to Venice. The only thing is that the next flight is _late_ , and their wait of one hour and half it’s now a wait of three hours and _counting_. It makes Shuuya angry, but it also makes Endou smile and he says they should look around, because it’s a foreign country all the same.  
  
Shuuya nods and Endou starts walking around, pulling him for his elbow, making their walk uncomfortable, because of their baggage, but Shuuya doesn’t care.  
  
They decide to go to eat, because why not and Endou chooses a restaurant which makes only German food and Endou wants to try it, _absolutely_.  
  
Sitting facing each other, they wait for their _schnitzel,_ because their waiter suggested it when Endou asked, telling them that was very good and famous in Germany.  
Endou looks around, eyes shining a little and Shuuya thinks, _yes, worth it_.  
  
The same waiter comes back with their drinks and Shuuya take his, meanwhile Endou is watching him, quietly.  
  
“Do you remember when you father wanted to send you to Germany? To become a doctor?” the question takes Shuuya by surprise that he almost spills his Cosmopolitan (don’t judge his drinking choices like the waiter did; he doesn’t like beer, only sugary cocktails) on the table.  
  
“Yeah,” he says “Why?”  
  
“I don’t know… I mean, we are here, in Germany, together,” Endou answers, a hand touching the back of his head, in a self-conscious way “It’s making me think about it… about the possibility… of you leaving us.”  
  
Shuuya doesn’t know what to say.  
  
Endou laughs, but it’s fake “Would we be still friends? Would you remember me? Us? Would I forget about you? Our friendship just a nice memory to look back and say, oh yes, I remember that kid I played soccer with. Instead of a top soccer player, you’d be a doctor and I…” he stops, and he doesn’t start again.  
  
What the hell is going on? What the hell is Endou thinking? And what the hell is Shuuya supposed to answer to this… whatever is this. He doesn’t think about that week of his life where his dad thought that Shuuya could be a doctor, a surgeon, because it’s in his past and even if his dad thinks that being a CEO for an organization about soccer isn’t cooler than being a doctor, they don’t talk about it. He’s also the coach of girls only soccer team on the side, so, life is great.  
  
He doesn’t think about the possibility, about what ifs, like Endou is doing. And Shuuya needs to say something, because he doesn’t like the expression on his best friend’s face.  
He’ll be honest.  
  
“I don’t think about it.”  
  
Endou looks at him again “You don’t?”  
  
Shuuya shakes his head and then takes a sip of his drink, then he smiles “And I think, if now I was a doctor, it would meant that I never had the opportunity to meet you.”  
  
“What?” Endou mumbles.  
  
Shuuya leans in towards Endou, resting his cheek in his hand “You know, if you didn’t go to see my dad, to ask him to let me stay, I would have gone away. I wasn’t the type to say no to my father. But you… you… you made him make me stay. So, stop asking yourself stupid questions. Or thinking about what ifs. I’m here, you are here. The only way to stop our… our friendship was to never meet, Endou,” he says, trying to sound casual, but he can feel the blush on his cheeks. Shuuya tries to hide behind his drink, but it’s useless.  
  
Shuuya probably said too much but he means it, _he means it_ , every line, every word, every letter. Endou changed his life more than once, and Shuuya is grateful for him.  
  
“Oh,” it’s the only thing that Endou says before smiling “That’s… you are right. We are bound by destiny and hardships.”  
  
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“We are soulmates, Gouenji,” Endou answers, his grin getting bigger. Endou sits back in his chair and cross his arms “Me and you? You shoot and I defend. I talk without thinking and you think without talking. Perfect match on the field and in life.” Endou looks so satisfied with what he said, his smile still in place on his lips.  
  
Then Endou shakes his head and take his glass of water to drink (he doesn’t drink alcohol; he doesn’t like the taste and he’s a lightweight).  
  
Shuuya’s blush is getting worse, he knows that. What the fuck is wrong with this man? He’s… the most innocent human that Shuuya ever met, but also the most cruel. Shuuya’s heart is beating rapidly in chest and he saved from reply Endou by the waiter with their food.  
Shuuya decides to drop whatever was that. Their plane is still late, and he doesn’t want to think about the implications of Endou’s words. He knows that Endou is talking about their friendship and nothing more, but both his brain and heart don’t get the memo.  
  
At least Endou looks more carefree, less sad and more happy, so if Shuuya has to suffer for this, he will. Endou comes first, after Yuuka, sure, but still Shuuya can handle everything, even heartbreak.  
  
“Oh, I forgot,” Shuuya speaks after they finished eating “I hope you don’t mind driving a little…”  
  
Once again, Endou finds himself asking Shuuya “What?”  
  
“Yeah, okay, maybe I should tell you the plan for the next two weeks,” Shuuya says, meanwhile he’s trying to tie his hair in a low ponytail.  
  
“Ah, finally!” Endou retorts and then he leans in, taking a stray lock of Shuuya’s hair between his fingers “You missed some.”  
  
Shuuya nods slowly and Endou retreats. He puts some space between them and Shuuya can breathe normally again.  
  
_Please, please, stop_.  
  
“So,” he begins, “If our plane decides to show up, we will be arriving in Venice in the morning, then we stay there for four or five days, you decide, and then we drive. To Florence. We stay there for how much we like and then we drive again, to Rome, where we’ll have to take a flight back home when we feel like it.” Shuuya finishes his explanation, hoping that Endou would like what he thought for them.  
  
To be honest, his plan sucks. He didn’t even make hotel reservations and he doesn’t have tickets for their flight back. Everything is spontaneous and he does have the money to do it. He wants to… _spoil_ Endou, because Endou deserves it. If Endou says he wants to jump into a venetian canal, then, they are jumping in a venetian canal. Also, Shuuya wants to go to museums and art shows, and he knows that Endou knows that.  
  
“When you say _we drive_ , you mean I drive and you sleep in the passenger seat,” Endou remarks, amusement all over his facial features.  
  
“Yeah, you don’t like that?” Shuuya asks warily. Endou doesn’t seem bothered but he wants to check.  
  
“I love it! Makes me think about our road-trip to Okinawa when we were at uni!”  
  
“Kidou and Someoka were there too. You know I can’t drive, if it’s too much I can…” he tries, searching for his phone but Endou puts his hands on Shuuya’s.  
  
Their eyes meet and if Shuuya didn’t know better, he would say that he sees love in Endou’s look.  
  
“Gouenji, it’s perfect. I want to drive, and I want you to tell me what exit I have to take. Okay?”  
  
“Okay. I’m good at that.”  
  
Endou laughs.  
  
  
3.  
  
  
Endou’s sleeping against Shuuya’s shoulder. It’s seven AM local time and they are waiting for a taxi at the Marco Polo airport to take them to Piazzale Roma. Since Venice has car ban, they have to walk. So, it’s hunting-for-a-hotel-room time on foot. And after, they sleep for the next twenty hours. Solid plan.  
  
Shuuya checks his phone to answer to work emails, Yuuka’s and his friends’ texts. He smiles at a photo that Toramaru sent to him, a smiley selfie with Tobitaka and Fudou arguing in the background. They are in Rairaiken, probably planning the restaurant’s reopening. When Hibiki retired, he left the noodle shop to Tobitaka that decided to extend it, asking Fudou to be his business partner. He still remembers fondly Fudou being shocked, but also flattered and he said yes. Also, all of it made Kidou happy since his boyfriend was happy.  
  
Shuuya replies with few words and then opens his and Kidou’s chat full of massages like: _are you dead? How did he take it? How he is feeling? My dumb boyfriend says hi. Answer me when you can. Gouenji, it’s been twenty-four hours since I last heard from you, do I have to call Interpol?_  
  
Shuuya snaps a pic of Endou sleeping and he sends it to Kidou, with an _All good, talk to you later_ attached to.  
  
Their taxi driver is here and Shuuya wakes Endou gently. In the car, the taxi driver makes small talk in broken English and Endou, sleepy but kind, answers from the backseat and Shuuya just nods, his eyes fixed on the scenery outside.   
  
The man leaves them a Piazzale Roma. They say _Grazie_ and start walking toward… something. The mission is to find a hotel soon as possible because he can’t think. He’s so tired and he can see that Endou is too, so Shuuya stops, sits on a bench and googles _good places to stay in Venice_ meanwhile Endou goes to buy something to eat.  
  
When he comes back, Shuuya has the address of a nice hotel in a fifteen minutes’ walk radius. Endou has a bag of food (“The nice lady called them _cornetti,_ one is with chocolate and the other with cream ‘because I know you like it!”) and two small plastic cups full of coffee. An espresso sounds amazing.  
  
Shuuya thanks him. Endou mouths a “Don’t,” and puts the coffee next to Shuuya, on the bench. Shuuya takes his and drinks a little. The coffee is black, no sugar. Like he likes it. Endou is crouched, at eye level with the bench, shaking little packs of sugar. Shuuya smiles and then frowns at the fourth time Endou sweetens his coffee.  
  
“You know that it’s not healthy, right?”  
  
“Well, you know that I can’t drink it without it.” Endou sticks his tongue out at Shuuya.  
  
“You are child, sometimes,” Shuuya smiles, no bite in his tone.  
  
“I like to think that I have a young soul, Gouenji,” he says and then tries to drink his coffee, but, apparently, it’s still too strong for him and his stupid best friend makes a sound of disgust.  
  
“It’s strong!”  
  
Shuuya laughs.  
  
After that, they eat and drink in silence, interrupted only by Endou’s small enthusiastic noises about how good these pastries are.  
  
Shuuya loves this, this… normalcy between them that he missed since… well, uni. Maybe high school. It was different back then; they were different back then. It was before Endou started dating Natsumi and it was before Shuuya started to think about his best friend in a way that wasn’t platonic.  
  
After their very fast, but very good breakfast, they get up to search the hotel.  
  
They are so tired that they don’t even notice how beautiful is Venice, but they have time to admire how the sun shines over the canals, how the street are narrow, but pretty and how the bridges are made in different shapes and diverse material. There are a lot of people working, talking, laughing, admiring everything about this pellicular city.  
  
Finally, Shuuya stops in front of the hotel he found on internet, called La Mezzaluna. It’s on the other side of the canal and it has light blue walls and white doors and windows. It looks… decent, but at this point Shuuya would take everything for a bed. He gets in and Endou follows him, closely.  
  
A young woman is at the reception, her short brown hair frames her face well. She has warm and gentle eyes and smiles when they come in. Shuuya reciprocates.  
  
“ _Ciao_!” she welcomes them with a friendly voice “How can I help you?”  
  
“Hi, yes, we need two rooms… please tell me you are not full,” Shuuya notices how her face darkens at the mention of two rooms.  
  
“Actually, sir, we have only one room available at the moment,” she answers, professionally “Unfortunately we are full, or we have reservations and can’t give more than one room to you.”  
  
Shuuya nods, damning himself for his poor organization skills when Endou says “What’s the problem if we share?”  
  
The woman – Barbara, her badge says – laughs “Oh, there is not a problem! At all! Do you mind?” and Shuuya knows that the question is for him.  
  
He minds, but he’s tired and he wants to sleep, and he doesn’t want to walk back. And him and Endou shared a lot of things, it’s okay to share a room, he thinks. He just wants to avoid it if he can because he’s a terrible, terrible friend sometimes.  
  
“It’s okay,” he gives in and then they start the registration and he hand her his black credit card. He notices Endou staring, but both of them says nothing.  
  
“Okay, your room is 101. This is the key. You can stay how much you like; your payment will be finalized on your check out! Hope you have fun and please, enjoy Venice. It’s a beautiful city!” Barbara smiles happily at them, handing Endou a magnetic card and calls over a boy to help them with their suitcases.  
  
Luckily, it’s only on the first floor. The boy leaves them and Endou opens the room door. It’s small for Shuuya’s taste, but it’s pretty, white and pink walls, a window that overlooks the canal, and it has minimal décor, with some fake plants. And only one bed. There is only one bed, a queen sixed bed, but only one bed.  
  
Shuuya is about to run away but Endou’s voice stops him “We’ll have to share this too!” and he jumps on the window’s side of the bed, leaving his suitcase in the middle of the room. He knows that Shuuya likes to sleep away from the window.  
  
He can do it, can he? He has to. Endou’s smiling more than ever. He can share a bed. They already shared a bed, when they were thirteen and Shuuya didn’t know what being in love with you best friend meant. Also, that time in uni in Fubuki’s apartment.  
  
“I’ll go shower first!” Endou announces.  
  
Yes, shower. Good thing, since they smell like two weeks’ worth of soccer training.  
  
Endou takes off his shirt, then opens his suitcase to gets his things. Shuuya tries not to look, but it’s hard because he wants to.  
  
His best friend closes the door of the bathroom and Shuuya takes a deep breath.   
  
Everything is going to be fine.  
  
Shuuya runs a hand through his hair and thinks about praying.  
  
  
4.  
  
  
When he gets out of the shower, Endou’s already asleep and Shuuya follows him shortly. They sleep all day, jet leg and the travel taking a toll on both of them. When Shuuya wakes up, it’s five AM and Endou has an arm over Shuuya’s torso. He’s not close, but the contact makes Shuuya’s heart beat a little too faster.  
  
He moves Endou’s arm and takes his phone form the nightstand. Luckily, he charged it. Kidou replied his message with a: _I’m waiting_.  
  
Shuuya looks over Endou, still sleeping peacefully.  
  
He gets up, puts on a clean pair of jeans and a red shirt, not closing the top buttons. Then he opens the door and leaves the room and Endou behind.  
  
The sun is not totally up yet when Shuuya discovers the hotel’s balcony and seated on a white elaborate chair, he calls Kidou, who answers immediately.  
  
“Hey,” his (other) best friend greets him on the other side of the world.  
  
“Uhm,” he replies.  
  
“That bad, uh?”  
  
Shuuya lets out a chuckle “It’s not bad, just… it’s hard.”  
  
“Gouenji.” Kidou says.  
  
“Yeah, I know. He looks happy.”  
  
“Already?”  
  
“Yeah, more Endou and less…”  
  
“Sad, and angry?”  
  
Shuuya nods and even if Kidou can’t see him, he knows that he gets his point.  
  
“Good, that was the goal, wasn’t it?”  
  
“It was.”  
  
“How are you feeling?”  
  
“We are sharing a bed,” Shuuya hates himself, sometimes. Times like this, he wants to disappear. He doesn’t like to share what he’s going through because he hates how weak it makes him, and how ugly the truth is, but Kidou knows and Kidou gets it. He always gets Shuuya like Shuuya gets him and how Endou gets them both. But there are things that Endou can’t know. He also hates to put Kidou through this, again and again, but he cannot stop. He needs to get it how and Kidou… Kidou is his best friend.  
  
“You are _what_?” Kidou sounds worried.  
  
“Only one room with one bed.” Shuuya laughs, “It’s okay, I guess. It’s not a problem for him, it shouldn’t be a problem for me neither. Except, I woke up with his arm around me.”  
  
“Oh, Gouenji…”  
  
“I hate being like this. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Don’t say sorry, how many times I told you that it’s okay to have feelings? And it’s okay to share them?” Kidou is too good for him. And he also has got a good therapist.  
  
“Too many.”  
  
“I still think you should tell him,” Kidou tells him, toneless.  
  
“No.” Shuuya’s answer is cold and definitive.  
  
Kidou sighs and then changes the subject. Of course, they had this conversation a million times over the years and the outcome it’s always the same. No, he won’t. But Kidou tries every time because he’s a good friend.  
  
“What’s the plan for… today right, it’s morning there?” he asks.   
Shuuya hears him walk around, probably in his studio at Teikoku.  
  
“Yes, early morning. The plan is to walk and do some sightseeing. San Marco and shit like that.” Shuuya says, his eyes focused on the sun shining weakly in the sky. It’s pretty, the sunrising, making everything warmer slowly.  
  
Venice is waking up and Shuuya finds himself ready to explore it. With Endou.  
  
Kidou snickers, “San Marco and shit. Someoka is really influencing you.”  
  
Shuuya smiles at that “Sadly, the season’s over and he’s Japan with Fubuki.”  
  
“He is! Ah!” Kidou exclaims, suddenly, “What about Fideo, heard of him?”  
  
He sighs “Nothing yet, but Nakamura’s working on it and you know how they work.”  
  
“Your assistant is former CIA.”  
  
“They are. I hope Fideo wants to meet up.”  
  
“Oh, trust me, he wants to. I’m sorry I lost his number.”  
  
Shuuya shakes his head, it’s not his fault; between his sudden return to Japan and going of the grid, of course Kidou got rid of his old phone “Don’t worry. Anyways, I’m going to let you work. Say hi to Sakuma for me.”  
  
“Will do, say hi to Endou. And, please, text me if something is wrong. Even in the middle of the night. Okay?”  
  
“Yeah, okay. Thanks.”  
  
“You’re welcome. Bye.”  
  
“Bye.”  
  
Shuuya sighs, not moving, and starts to listen to the birds chirping and the people of Venice waking up to get the day started.  
  
He thinks about calling Yuuka, but she’s probably in class.  
  
_C’mon, this was your idea_ , _stop being a coward_.  
  
When Shuuya comes back Endou is awake. He’s still in bed, brown hair messy against the white pillow. He’s typing fast on his phone. Shuuya assumes he’s telling his family where he is, since he basically abducted him.  
  
Endou opened the window while Shuuya was gone and sunlight is, now, flooding the room, which it’s a mess. Clothes, towels, and shoes are everywhere. Their suitcases are still open on the floor, but Endou looks warm and comfortable, and it makes Shuuya heart ache, especially when Endou looks up and his eyes shine a little, and he smiles at Shuuya, so earnest and pure.  
  
“You are back,” Endou says, locking his phone and letting it fall into the bed, “Are you okay?” Then he asks, because of course, Endou, like Kidou, can read him like an open book. It’s weird, Shuuya thinks, how Endou can read him easily, without the need to hear him speak.  
  
He understands the different ways Shuuya tells his name, the different ways he nods, the different ways he sighs, and he acts accordingly to it. But also, he doesn’t notice how Shuuya blushes when he compliments him or how his heartbeat speeds up when Endou hugs him. Endou understands him and he doesn’t at the same time. Maybe, there is a reason. Maybe, Endou doesn’t know how to process everything that happens between them. Shuuya is aware that he’s a bit dense sometimes and he needs to be told how to act when feelings are involved. If Natsumi didn’t told him that she liked him, asking him on a date, Endou probably wouldn’t ever had that relationship. His most important and only relationship. Shuuya doesn’t like to think about that period of their life when Endou and Natsumi were dating. How close they were to marry. Shuuya, after two years, doesn’t know what happened between the two, just that the break-up wasn’t hard for Endou as much it was hard on Natsumi. Probably because, between the two, the only one with concrete feelings was her.  
  
Endou is still waiting for an answer.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Tired. I talked to Kidou. He says hi.” Shuuya answers, his feet taking him to the bathroom.  
  
When he gets out, Endou is seated, legs crossed, in the middle on the bed and he’s looking at Shuuya with a serious look.  
  
“What?” Shuuya asks, eyebrows raised. Endou doesn’t answer right away, but Shuuya can feel his eyes following him. Shuuya is now standing in front the human-sized mirror and he can see Endou behind him. He tries to ignore whatever this is.  
  
He glances at the reflection of himself and sighs. He takes his beauty case from the suitcase and opens it to take out his moisturizing cream (he likes to have smooth skin) and his hairbrush.  
  
Meanwhile Shuuya’s brushing his hair, Endou speaks, “I don’t like when you lie to me, but okay, I’ll try to believe you are good.”  
  
Shuuya stops and he looks at Endou in the mirror, “I’m not lying,” he says, “I’m fine.”  
  
Endou shakes his head, “Gouenji, I know you.”  
  
He does.  
  
“You do,” Shuuya sighs, “But, it’s all good, I swear. It’s the jet leg, nothing else.”  
  
Endou pouts and gets close. The room is small, but there are few meters between the bed and Shuuya. Even with that, Shuuya feels Endou’s presence close and overwhelming.  
  
“So, it’s not a problem for you sharing a bed with me.”  
  
Oh. He’s so bad at this that even Endou picked up his discomfort. _Endou_.  
  
“And it’s not a problem for you paying for everything,” he adds, eyes down focused on the sheets.  
  
_Oh, my God_.  
  
“Endou, hey,” Shuuya’s legs are moving on their own and now he’s on his knees, trying to catch his best friend’s eyes, “This is a gift. For you. And no, it’s not a problem for me sleeping in the same bed as you. I...” he doesn’t know what to say because he wants to be honest, but he can’t. Not right now. Sleeping next to Endou it’s hard for him, but not because he doesn’t like it. He loves it and he know that if he keeps doing it, he would never be able to sleep alone again. Or he will die because his heart is weak. Shuuya is weak and in love and he doesn’t know what to do about it, but he has to try because Endou comes first. He always comes first.  
  
“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, that’s all,” Endou’s hand is on Shuuya’s and Shuuya tries to speak, but Endou stops him with a small smile “And I... I’m thankful for this. I needed it. I need it. But, still, you are paying for everything and I feel like a leech. I know that you are rich,” he starts talking fast, so Shuuya can’t stop him, “And that you see this as a gift, but I feel guilty anyway, I want… I want to do something for you too. You are always putting me first, these days. And I appreciate that. Again, I’m thankful, so thankful.”  
  
Shuuya sighs. He gets up to seat next to Endou on the bed, “You don’t have to do anything for me, you already did your share being my friend despite the fact that sometimes I’m a crazy ass bitch who makes bad decisions and doesn’t ask for help.”  
  
Endou laughs at that.  
  
“And…” Shuuya adds, “You also don’t have to thank me. And you are not making me uncomfortable, Endou, I can sleep next to you without having a life crisis, you know that, right?”  
  
His best friend nods and then falls on his back, taking Shuuya with him, “It’s… I don’t know, you looked like really freaked out when you saw the bed. Or when the receptionist said that there was only one room. And then I wake up and you are not here. I wanted to check. I’m happy to be here with you, you know, and I want you to be okay.” Endou is whispering, now.  
  
They are laying on the bed, looking at each other. Their faces are so close than Shuuya can see clearly Endou’s freckles.  
  
“Oh.” Shuuya hopes that he isn’t blushing.  
  
Endou smiles, big and full of teeth, his eyes disappearing “Yeah.”  
  
Shuuya needs to say something other than _Oh’s_ , so he tries “I’m happy that you are happy. I…only wanted that.”  
  
“Well, good job then!” Endou chuckles and they are still close, so close.  
  
Shuuya coughs to clear the air and sits up, “Now get up and get dressed. We have a city to see.”  
  
And with that, Endou sprints out of bed and in the bathroom, squealing a little.  
  
With a deep breath, Shuuya starts brushing his hair again. He’s shaking.  
  
_Calm the fuck down_ , he tells himself.  
  
He looks at himself in the mirror and decides to tie his hair in a half up and half down hairstyle, letting his too long bangs fall over his eyes.  
Shuuya doesn’t what the fuck is going on and he doesn’t know if he wants to find out.  
  
  
5.  
  
  
Two hours later, they picked an overpriced bar in Piazza San Marco to have breakfast. It has got tables outside, overlooking the half empty square. The weather is also very nice, not too warm, or too cold. Shuuya can smell the scent of the sea, so close to them. They pick a table at the very side of the road. Shuuya notices how every waiter is in a fancy suit, which is in contrast with Endou’s tracksuit pants and _Best Coach In The World_ t-shirt – it was a gift from the Raimon Eleven kids and it’s probably his most important possession, he wears it all the time.  
  
It’s early, luckily, so the plaza isn’t full of tourists. Only the early-risers and the jet-legged are with them, and that makes everything more peaceful. Shuuya closes his eyes and he feel calm for the first time in three days.  
  
Endou’s in the bar, asking something about their order. Shuuya can’t remember what because he was too focused on the pigeons walking around.  
  
His phone chimes. Shuuya opens his eyes. It’s a text message from Nakamura: _Fideo Ardena’s contact_. Attached is Fideo’s number.  
  
Shuuya spots Endou in the bar, still talking with an employee. He’s laughing and talking with his hands. Shuuya decides that this is the best moment to call Fideo, so he does it.  
The phone rings for a few seconds and then, “ _Chiunque sia, non sono interessato_!”  
  
Oh, Shuuya wasn’t expecting that.  
  
“Excuse me… is this Fideo?” he asks, uncertain. He doesn’t speak Italian, but he can hear the annoyed tone.  
  
“Yes, it’s me,” Fideo switches from Italian to a perfect English immediately, “Who’s this?”  
  
“Oh, it’s Gouenji… Shuuya? I don’t know if—”  
  
“Gouenji? Inazuma Japan Gouenji?” Fideo’s voice is so enthusiastic that Shuuya doesn’t know what to do.  
  
“Yeah, it’s me. You remember.”  
  
“Of course, Gouenji. I don’t think I can’t forget anything about our FFI!”  
  
Shuuya snickers a little and Fideo giggles on the other side of the call.  
  
“So, why are you calling? I don’t think that intercontinental calls are cheap. And how you got my number? I need to fire someone because of a security breach?” Fideo asks, playfully.  
  
Shuuya thought about this a lot in the last few weeks. He practiced the speech over and over in his mind. Of course, he doesn’t go as planned and he wings it. Like, basically everything in is his life.  
  
“Well, because this isn’t an intercontinental call and my assistant knows how to hack the Pentagon, if they want.”  
  
“What do you mean…”  
  
“I mean I’m in Italy right now. With Endou.”  
  
“What, Mamoru is here?!” Fideo squeals and Shuuya tries to swallow the jealousy at the way Fideo says Endou’s first name like it’s nothing.  
It’s stupid and Shuuya knows, but it makes him feel inferior to Fideo. He has the ability to do something that Shuuya wants to do, but it’s too scared to even try. To Endou, he’s Gouenji (only his sister, his father, his old baby-sitter and Toramaru call him Shuuya), and to him, Endou’s Endou. To change that, after a decade, it’s weird, but it doesn’t stop Shuuya from _wanting_.  
  
He’s so whiny, sometimes. _It’s a name, get over it_.  
  
“Gouenji?”  
  
Fuck, quiet for too long.  
  
“Yeah, he’s here with me.” Why the fuck did he say _with me_ , of course he’s with you dumbass.  
  
Luckily, Fideo is too excited to even notice how Shuuya is going through some shit on the phone with him, and he asks “Wait, where are you now?”  
  
“Venice.”  
  
“Oh no,” he sounds so disappointed and a little dark part of Shuuya feels satisfied, “I’m in Rome now, and I can’t leave!”  
  
“Don’t you worry, we are coming to Rome next week. This is why I’m calling because…” he takes a deep breath and checks that Endou is still in the bar, “Look, I don’t think you know but Endou Daisuke died a few months ago.”  
  
Fideo just says a _Oh, fuck_ and Shuuya nods, “Endou is still… hurting, so I took him here to offer him a distraction and I thought… I know he misses you. Do you want to see him?”  
  
“Gouenji, why are you asking. Of course! I miss him too. It’s been so long! You know, I wanted to ask Kidou to give me Mamoru’s number, but then he left Italy suddenly…”  
  
With his eyes still fixed on Endou, Shuuya says “Look, if you don’t mind, we could make it a surprise. I don’t want to tell Endou. It’s okay to you?”  
  
“Man, sure. This is great. Okay, call me when you are here in Rome. Do you have a place to stay here?”  
  
Shuuya coughs, embarrassed, “Actually, we don’t.”  
  
“Perfect, then you are staying with me. I’m going to organize everything. You are going to love Rome. Oh, this is great!”  
  
“I… Okay, I guess.”  
  
“What?” Fideo asks, worry in his voice evident.  
  
“I wasn’t expecting… all of this. To be honest, I didn’t think this thoroughly.”  
  
“Hey, Gouenji,” he sounds so serious, “You are doing a great thing for your friend. And I’m happy to see you and let you stay at my place. It’s a big place, you know. Being a professional soccer player in Italy means a lot.” He’s playing again and Shuuya laughs.  
  
“Yes, thanks. I’ll call you when we are there, then.”  
  
“Good! And thanks to you. This is so fucking great. Okay. _Ciao_!”  
  
And then the call’s over and Endou’s coming back with a full plate that Shuuya’s sure he didn’t have before and a big smile.  
  
“The barman gave me free food!” Endou take his seat back in front of Shuuya, “He recognized me! From the match against Orpheus! Man, it’s been  
years. He’s a big soccer fan, so we got to talk. Missed me?” he’s already chewing a pastry.  
  
“No,” Shuuya says and Endou laughs.  
  
It’s quiet. It’s good. Shuuya closes his eyes again.  
  
“Give me your phone,” Endou says.  
  
Gouenji raises an eyebrow in confusion.  
  
“I want to take a picture of you,” the other explains, raising his hand, palm up. He leans over the table to get closer to Shuuya.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because you look pretty.” Endou answers, not moving an inch, still waiting for Shuuya’s phone.  
  
Endou called him pretty before. Never handsome or beautiful, just pretty. The first time, they were at the training camp before FFI and Shuuya was fresh out of the shower. He didn’t have the time to get his hair up, when Endou barged in his room, dirty and panting, to tell him to come and help him practice. In that moment, with his hair wet, slowly dripping, Endou said that Shuuya was pretty. Also, that he was going to wait for him. So, it isn’t a shock when Endou casually compliments him like that. But, it’s the first time that Endou wants to take a picture of him.  
  
Shuuya blushes.  
  
“Why do you need my phone?” he coughs a little, his tone neutral.  
  
“My phone sucks. And you like good quality photos to post on your stupid Instagram feed.”  
  
“Now you know what an Instagram feed is.”  
  
“Aoi and Akane explained it to me during practice. Very useful information!” Endou giggles, “They also taught me how to use it. I followed you on it, but you didn’t follow me back,” he pouts a little.  
  
“I have to many followers; I can’t check every single one of them.”  
  
“Rude, Gouenji, very rude,” Endou says, shaking his head to make a point. Then he leans closer and closer, his hand almost touching Shuuya’s chest. He gives in and places his phone on Endou’s palm. His fingers close around it and he makes a content sound.  
  
Before Shuuya can say anything, Endou is taking picture of him, so he just follows along, making stupid poses and regretting five seconds later. He smiles anyway, because Endou looks so amused.  
  
Then Endou tells him that he already payed for their breakfast — Shuuya objects but Endou shakes his head and says that it’s only fair since Shuuya is paying for everything else — and decides that he wants to explore for the rest of the day.  
  
They start with the Basilica di San Marco, the closest thing. It’s so big and beautiful and Shuuya is in love with its architectural style and its decoration and he knows that Endou is still taking photos of him, but he doesn’t mind. Sometimes Endou stops and asks him something about the Basilica and Shuuya answers him, explaining him things he studied at uni (he was an Art major, yes) or stuff he read on internet before coming. Then they leave the Piazza and its Lions and horses behind, to explore Venice’s streets, called Calle.  
  
While they walk, Endou gets closer to Shuuya, his arm’s brushing against Shuuya’s.  
  
Venice is too magnificent and... unusual and it sucks Shuuya in. He’s taking everything that this city as to offer in matter of beauty. Everything is so peculiar and, even if on Liocott Island they tried to replicate it, the original is a thousand times better. Every road is different than the other, but they are so similar that they get lost easily. They don’t have a destination in mind, but most times than both of them would like they find themselves in the same place or in dead end street. It’s fun, though. They look at each other every time and Endou laughs and Shuuya smiles.  
  
They are on big and imposing bridge called Ponte di Rialto overlooking the Canal Grande. It’s later in the morning and tourists and residents alike are out for the day. The bridge is full of families, couples and friends taking picture of each other, of the scenery. The Canal is full of boats, some so big that they offer public transportation and some small, probably for personal use. Since cars are banned, people move on the water.  
  
The sun shines on the sea, blinding Shuuya. He looks away, his eyes now on Endou. Shuuya’s brain starts to think about how Endou... is beautiful. Rationally, he knows that Endou is average and he looks like a sport freak most of the time, but the way he smiles, the way he talks, the way he moves, everything that makes Endou... Endou... makes him beautiful.  
  
Shuuya could go on and on talking about the little wrinkles around his eyes that appear every time he makes an expression, both a sad or happy one. Or about his freckles, not so noticeable because of his tanned skin, the result of constant training and standing on the field, under the sun. Or about his hands, that always moves, explain things when Endou can’t or doesn’t know how to use words; his hands full of calluses, that Shuuya can feel when Endou touches him.  
  
Right now, Endou is the most beautiful human he ever saw just because he’s beaming, the sun hitting the side of his face, not hard, but like it wants to hug him, like the sun wants to make him warm, and Shuuya feels the same.  
  
Shuuya takes his phone from Endou’s jeans back pocket and he shakes his head when Endou doesn’t notice, too entranced with his surroundings. Shuuya snaps a few pictures of him, his favourite being the one with Endou leaning over the bridge, both of his elbows on the marble and his face between his hands. Endou’s expression is the... most heart-warming thing, with his lips curved in a gentle smile and his eyes soft and shiny.  
  
Shuuya loves him so much and he hates himself as much.  
  
At some point, Endou starts talking with a family next to them. The woman is forty-something and so kind that she gives them a bottle of iced tea, meanwhile her husband tells them about their children and how tiring is to travel with them. The man jokes about how they are so lucky to be young and able to enjoy themselves without the constant fear of one of your sons falling into the canal.  
  
Then one of their sons tries to jump into the canal and the father runs to stop him. His wife just stays there with them, laughing at her family’s antics and she keeps talking to them — with Endou, specifically, because Shuuya is just there, arms crossed, next to Endou, nodding sometimes — and then she offers to snap a picture of the two of them (“You’ll need something to remember today… when you get older, it becomes all fuzzy!”). Endou agrees immediately and Shuuya can’t say no because she’s so nice and Endou looks so happy. So, Endou puts an arm around his shoulder and smiles big, winking at the phone camera and Shuuya leans against them bridge, a hand in his pocket.  
  
The woman beams and hands them the phone, then her husband is calling for her and she says her goodbyes. Before leaving she says, “It was so nice meeting a young couple so in love like you! I wish all the best!” and Endou answers with a _thank you_ and Shuuya doesn’t have the time to tell the lady that they are not a couple, they are never going to be a couple.  
  
“That was nice, wasn’t it?” Endou starts walking to get down from the bridge, and Shuuya knows that he noticed the way he tensed after hearing the woman’s words.  
  
“She thinks we are… together.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“It doesn’t bother you?” Shuuya stops walking.  
  
Endou sighs and he turns to look up. Shuuya is still on the bridge, not far away, but there is some distance between them.  
  
“No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter what a stranger thinks about us and even if it matters, it’s not a _problem_.”  
  
For the first time in a few days, Endou’s tone is neutral. The way he said _problem_ sticks with Shuuya the most. Yeah, Shuuya had a difficult time accepting his sexuality. He knows he’s gay and he knows it’s okay to be gay, but every so often, he can’t stop his brain from thinking: _you should be normal, this is not normal, stop being like this_ , _people will hate you for this_. And he’s good most of the time; his intrusive thoughts are less and less more he understands there is nothing wrong with it and more his family and his friends tells him that he’s good, he’s fine, he’s okay. But sometimes is hard and Endou was there when things were really hard, and he tried – still tries – his best to make Shuuya feel comfortable. He still tries to remember Shuuya that he’s normal.  
  
He understands how his reaction could be perceived.  
  
“No, it’s not a problem,” Shuuya tries to not rise his voice, “But it’s not the truth. We are not what she thinks we are.”  
  
Endou shakes his head, “It’s not the truth. But it’s not likely we are going to meet her again. She doesn’t know our names. It’s okay, Gouenji, if a nice lady thinks we look like a couple.”  
  
_We look like a couple_.  
  
“Now, please, can we go to the library with the water?”  
  
  
6.  
  
  
They don’t talk a lot for the rest of the day, their little squabble on Ponte di Rialto still stuck in Shuuya’s head. He did enjoy visiting Libreria Acqua Alta, though, even if his mood wasn’t the best. He found it beautiful and calming, all those books resting on top of each other. Endou still smiled all day, despite Shuuya’s awful companionship. He feels guilty, but at the same time he’s angry at Endou. He can’t describe what’s going on in his head, because is too much. Endou isn’t a fault here, he can’t be. He doesn’t know what Shuuya feels for him. He’s not doing anything with malicious intent. Shuuya knows it, he understands it, but the way Endou behaves around him confuses him so fucking much, that it’s hard to be calm. Shuuya thinks he sees something… more in Endou’s eyes and then next moment it’s gone.  
  
Shuuya doesn’t think about having a relationship with Endou simply because he knows that is impossible, that Endou sees him only as a best friend — which is great, Shuuya would never change that. But… but… hope is a tough thing to kill.  
  
Shuuya is angry at Endou for giving him hope, even if it’s not intentional.  
  
Now, they are back in their hotel room, after a quick dinner in a close restaurant. Shuuya ordered a bottle of wine and he was the only one drinking it, so he’s a bit tipsy.  
  
Shuuya’s laying on the bed, eyes on the white ceiling and Endou is on the floor, staring at his phone like he wants to throw it out of the window.  
  
Shuuya hears Endou taking in a deep breath and then, “I’m sorry.”  
  
“Aki told you to say it, didn’t she?”  
  
“She thinks I was out of place and that I need to understand your point of view. Then I said that I understand your point of view and I think it’s bullshit.”  
  
Shuuya huffs a laugh.  
  
“But, anyway, I’m really sorry. I ruined your day.”  
  
“You didn’t. I ruined my day,” Shuuya gets up and his head spins a little. Maybe a whole bottle of wine was a bad idea, especially in his current predicament.  
  
“Well, I’m sorry. Please accept my apologies and stop brooding?” Endou’s asking with his famous puppy eyes and Shuuya looks away.  
  
“I’m not — hiccup — brooding.”  
  
Endou is standing now, “Oh, you are drunk.”  
  
“Tipsy,” Shuuya corrects him, “Mildly intoxicated, if you want.”  
  
“So, no serious talk?” Endou asks, sitting beside Shuuya.  
  
“I think this room saw too many serious talks already.”  
  
“C’mon!”  
  
“It’s a problem for me if people think we are together.” Shuuya gives in.  
  
Endou goes completely still.  
  
“It’s not because I’m not okay with being gay, it’s just… _I can’t_ ,” he continues on, “And I know it’s stupid, but it hurts me. I can’t tell you why, but it does.”  
  
“You can’t or you don’t want?”  
  
Shuuya thinks. Hard.  
  
_Come clean_ , he says to himself, _tell him everything. Tell him that you are in love with him since you were fifteen. Tell him that he made you understand what love is. Tell him all the time you cried for him, laughed because of him, screamed about him._  
  
It would be easy, to speak the truth. But the fact about secrets is that the longer you keep them, harder is to share them.  
  
He thought about a lot, about this. Why is he hiding his feelings from Endou? At first, it was because he was scared of them. Then he was scared to lose Endou. Then it was too late and Endou had someone else in his life. Now is because he got used to hide them. It’s not easy, to lose old habits.  
  
“Don’t want.”  
  
Endou nods, “Okay.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Shuuya tries but Endou stops him with a gesture of his hand.  
  
“Don’t say sorry,” he says then he smiles, sadly, “It hurts a bit, but I’ll be fine. I’m a big boy.”  
  
“What hurts? Me not liking people assuming we are together or that I won’t tell you why?” Shuuya jokes, trying to lift the mood.  
  
Endou looks away before answering, “Both.”  
  
  
7.  
  
  
They are in Burano and they are acting like the day before didn’t happened. Luckily, they are both good at it, having practised enough with the whole Ishido Shuuji’s business.  
  
Burano is so interesting and bright, and it makes think Shuuya of Endou.  
  
Every fisherman’s house is of a different colour. It’s so lovely and unique that Shuuya can’t stop himself from taking picture of the scenery and of Endou who looks so entranced.  
They are walking side by side along the street, the canal next to them full of boats.  
  
“Wow,” Endou whispers.  
  
“Yeah,” Shuuya nods.  
  
“I need to be honest; I want to live here.”  
  
Shuuya laughs, “Yeah?”  
  
“Yes. I’m going to live in the yellow one there,” Endou points at one building, smiling, “And you… you are going to live in the red one!”  
  
“Are we going to be neighbours?”  
  
“Yes, so we can spend all our days together ‘til we are old. We are going to fish every morning and bitch about Kidou and Fudou.”  
  
Shuuya shakes his head, his heart beating fast in his chest, “You have everything figured out.”  
  
The promise of forever hanging on Shuuya like an execution.  
  
“You don’t like it?”  
  
“I love it,” Shuuya says.  
  
  
8.  
  
  
Murano is different from Burano even if their names are similar. Shuuya is alone, Endou leaving him with a poor excuse. He tries not to think about the reason why his friend ran away as soon as they set foot on the island.  
  
He decides to visit the Duomo of Murano. He likes churches, even if they make him think about bad memories caused by bad choices. He likes them for the art and architectural value, not for any religious proposes. Thinking about God is a little too much, after everything he is been through.  
  
A couple hours later and a full experience of lagoon art, he finds himself looking for Endou. He misses him so much, it’s ridiculous. He lived without that short man attached to his hip for years, and there he is, missing him like a lung.  
  
Meanwhile he walks around, trying to spot a spiky brown-haired man, Yuuka calls him.  
  
“Hey,” he answers right away.  
  
“Shuuya, how’s my future brother-in-law?”  
  
“You could at least say hello.”  
  
“Boring. Answer me.”  
  
He loves her to death.  
  
“He’s doing okay. I guess. He stopped looking so down and empty since the airport.”  
  
“So, you are not ruining it. Good job.”  
  
“Uhm,” he breaths.  
  
“Oh no, what did you do?”  
  
“I freaked out because a nice lady thought we were a couple.”  
  
“Shuuya,” Yuuka’s trying her hardest not to scream, “What the actual fuck? You will never marry him, if you keep fucking it up.”  
  
“First, watch your mouth. Second, I’m not going to marry him anyway.”  
  
“Yeah, with that attitude I don’t see it happen too,” he can see his younger sister shaking her head and mouthing a _you are so dumb_ , and even if he should make him angry, he smiles full of affection for her.  
  
“What about you?” he asks, changing the topic, “How’s school?”  
  
“Terrible as always. And about me? I’m doing fine. Thinking about dying my hair green, making Toramaru do my project and hanging out with the ladies. Normal stuff.”  
  
“You are making me proud. I would prefer a light purple instead of a green,” he stops in the middle of the road and kick a pebble into the water.  
  
“Thanks for your input. Now, where is Endou?”  
  
“How do you know is not with me?”  
  
“We were talking about marriage five seconds ago, Shuuya. If he was with you, now your phone would be in Venice’s canal water.”  
  
“You really know me well,” he looks up toward the sky, so blue and clear, “I don’t know. He ran off few hours ago. I’m trying to find him, but this place is a maze.”  
  
“Did he ran away from you? I take it back, you are ruining it.”  
  
“I’m not—okay, maybe a little. Look, I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea coming here with him. I should’ve brought the tickets and send him off with Aki. Or…”  
  
“Don’t say Natsumi, because I’m going to kick you through the phone.”  
  
“I can’t say Natsumi, she’s in Africa. But Fuyuka, maybe?”  
  
Yuuka grunts.  
  
“You are really something else – his sister sounds so done with him and with reasons -, you are always trying to sabotage or punishing yourself for something that it’s out of your control. And you are doing it even now with Endou.”  
  
“I’m not!”  
  
“You are!”  
  
Shuuya sighs, he knows she’s right, but it doesn’t mean he’s going to say _it_. He’s still older than her. It doesn’t matter, not really, their age gap. And Yuuka is far more emotionally mature than his twenty-something brother, that’s for sure.  
  
“Gouenji!” Endou’s scream gets Shuuya’s attention; the other man is running in his direction. He’s a shopping bag in hands that he hadn’t on him before.  
  
Shuuya starts walking towards him.  
  
“Oh, he’s back,” Yuuka says on the phone with a giggle.  
  
“He is.”  
  
“Wow, you are so in love, you disgust me. Probably you are looking at him like he’s your sun and the only thing you want to do is to be in his orbit. And, also, you are walking to reach him and he’s running because of course he is.”  
  
How the fuck Yuuka does it, Shuuya doesn’t know.  
  
When Endou is close enough, he stops and tries to catch his breath, hands on his knees, and Shuuya, still on the phone, looks at him a bit worried, but Endou beams at him.  
  
“You are on the phone, sorry.”  
  
“It’s Yuuka—what, you want to… okay, here, she wants to say hi.”  
  
Endou takes Shuuya’s phone with a smile and starts talking with his little sister. Shuuya watches him as he nods and laughs and giggles about what Yuuka is saying, and the way he answers back at her makes Shuuya so warm. The way Endou fits perfectly in his life doesn’t fail to shock Shuuya. And giving him hope. He takes that feeling and he drives it away.  
  
“I don’t think green suits you. Yeah. Exactly. It’s not a Gouenji colour. Good, he said what? Purple? Light? Yeah, I can see you, even if I prefer the pink. Yeah, it makes you cuter, Yuuka. But you are always cute. Yeah!”  
  
  
8.  
  
  
After Yuuka’s call, Endou puts an arm around Shuuya’s shoulders and tells him he’s hungry, so they go to find somewhere to eat lunch.  
  
They choose a restaurant located in a small street away from the main road, and both of them order _spaghetti allo scoglio_. The waiter disappears with their orders, and now they are alone. The restaurant is almost empty, except for them, the staff and a couple eating far away from them.  
  
Shuuya wants to ask Endou where he went, but he notices that Endou is nervous. He can’t stop shaking his leg up and down and he’s mumbling something inaudible. It’s weird, since five minutes ago he was laughing, not letting Shuuya go out of his reach.  
  
Before Shuuya can ask what’s going on, Endou lets out a deep breath and says, “Gouenji.”  
  
He sounds serious, so Shuuya nods and Endou picks up the shopping bag, puts it on the table and then slides it towards his best friend, who’s now looking at him with a raised eyebrow.  
  
“Open it,” he says.  
  
Shuuya does it.  
  
Inside there is a small white box with something written in Italian on. Shuuya glances at Endou, and he nods, with a small smile. He lifts up the top of the box and inside there is a red bracelet. Shuuya gasps quietly, recognising the famous Vetro di Murano.  
  
“Do you like it?” Endou asks, timidly, a hand on the back of his neck and small tint of red on his cheek.  
  
“It’s… beautiful,” Shuuya says and it’s true. It’s perfect, and he’s something he would wear, matching his colour scheme. He wears mostly red clothing, has a red car he can’t drive, and he simply loves accessories like this one.  
  
“Oh, thank God,” Endou seems more relaxed, “I searched for hours, I was about to give up and then, here it is, I saw it and it was calling for me. I thought this is Gouenji. I wanted to give you something pretty because you like pretty things, but also that was… you, and made me think of you. These were the conditions. But then I started panicking because I don’t know anything about jewellery but the woman in the shop was so kind—” he stops.  
  
Shuuya doesn’t know why, but there are tears in his eyes and this is the most embarrassing moment in his entire life; he’s so happy, though, so he doesn’t care. Endou makes him happy, even with something simple as a bracelet. Endou gave him presents, for his birthday and stuff, most of the time with other people. He never went this far and brought something just because it made him think of Shuuya.  
  
“Wow, I didn’t anticipate this reaction. Are you okay?” he sounds so concerned and that makes Shuuya’s tears fall faster.  
  
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me,” Shuuya dries his cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt, “I’m… grateful, sorry, I…”  
  
“Please, stop crying or I’m going to cry too.”  
  
Shuuya laughs and Endou follows him.  
  
Endou gets up and moves his chair next to Shuuya, so they are closer. He takes the bracelet from Shuuya’s hands. He gently touches Shuuya’s wrist and he understands, lifting it up so Endou has better access to it. He fastens the bracelet for Shuuya and then looks at it with satisfied expression on his face.  
  
“It suits you well,” Endou whispers, “I was afraid it wouldn’t but… worth it.”  
  
“Thanks, but you—”  
  
“I wanted to. You brought me here, at least I can give you a gift, and you like it, so shut up and enjoy it,” Endou interrupts him, then he puts a hand on Shuuya’s shoulder, squeezing in reassuring way, “Promise to wear it all the time. The woman in the shop said it would bring you luck. I think she was lying to convince me, but I’m choosing to believe it. So, promise me!”  
  
Shuuya stay quiet for a few moments, eyes still on the bracelet around his wrist. It catches the light of the sun and shines. Then he smiles and looks at Endou, “I promise.”  
  
The waiter appears with their food.  
  
  
9.  
  
  
The next day flies and they are tired, but content, when they reach La Terrazza del Fondaco dei Tedeschi. Shuuya had to book their visit and the only free spot was at sunset. They can see half of Venice, tinted in orange as the sun disappear.  
  
Endou is standing next to him, so close their arms touch.  
  
“It’s quite magical,” he says, “It’s like we are in a movie and this is the ending scene.”  
  
Shuuya nods.  
  
They are leaving Venice the next day and Shuuya doesn’t want to. He wants to explore more, he wants to figure out every secret the city has, but he also wants to see Florence and Rome, and he wants to take Endou to Fideo, so, they are leaving and this is their last sunset in what is become Shuuya’s personal hell, but also heaven.  
  
“Thank you,” Endou breathes, “I said it a million time in the past four days but, I mean it. Thank you, this is, by far… I don’t think someone ever did something like this for me.”  
  
“You deserve it.”  
  
“Do I? I was terrible. At you, at Kidou, at the kids at school. I… I’m sorry, I really am.”  
  
Endou is not looking at him but Shuuya can see and can hear he’s trying hard not to cry.  
  
“It’s okay, you were in pain.”  
  
“It wasn’t just that. I was angry. At him, at myself, at everything. I loved my grandfather, but did he love me? Did he care? I hate that I have doubts, I hate that he left me without clearing them. And I hate the fact he wasn’t there for me, for my mom. I know why he did it, he had to do it. But… I can’t stop thinking. He had a long life, but me and my mom spent only five years with him. I know he loved Rococo and Cotarl, and he couldn’t leave them even for us. It makes me angry. We were his family and…” Endou stops and hides his face between his hands.  
  
Shuuya gets closer, putting an arm around him. It’s weird, because it’s usually the other way around. Endou is the one who hugs him, who touches him, but Shuuya wants to console him and he doesn’t know what to say because he can’t use words, so he lets his actions speak for him.  
  
Endou relaxes in his embrace and starts speaking again, “I didn’t tell anyone this. I was scared, you know, to appear as ungrateful child. Maybe, I am that. My grandfather’s dead and the only thing I can do is being angry with him _because he’s dead_.”  
  
“You are not. Like Kidou would say, you are allowed to have feelings, Endou,” Shuuya murmurs, “And I get it… Daisuke wasn’t the best.”  
  
“Do you really think that?” Endou asks, his tone not giving up any emotion. Shuuya hates how much Endou has grown up from that open book kid that Shuuya could read even blind.  
  
“I… Doesn’t matter.”  
  
“It does, please.”  
  
Shuuya tightens his hold on Endou and sighs, putting his chin on his best friend’s shoulder, “I always thought he was… it was weird, the way he acted after you found out he was alive. I mean, he lied about his death for forty years, and the only thing he says it’s that he had to do it. Don’t get me wrong, I know what means to do sacrifices to protect what you care about. People tell me I should stop doing that. But at the same time, he was your family and the only thing he cared about was beating you at FFI finals. And you were… I think you were so happy to see him, alive and well, that you didn’t know how to react, so you went with it.”  
  
“I did that, didn’t I?” Endou tries to laugh it off.  
  
“Endou.”  
  
“Yeah, sorry. Another serious talk. We are doing this a lot. I miss the times where the only things we talked about was soccer and how to beat the next team.”  
  
“Perks of being a grown up.”  
  
“I hate it.”  
  
“Me too,” Shuuya whispers, “How are you?”  
  
“Better,” Endou answers, “Still angry. Still hurt, but better. I don’t have to be logical about this, right?”  
  
“Yeah, as Kidou would say…”  
  
Endou nods, “Fuck Grandpa.”  
  
“I don’t think Kidou would say fuck Grandpa.”  
  
Endou laughs so hard they are both shaking.  
  
“Thanks,” Endou says, “You… I… I’m so lucky, to have you in my life.”  
  
Shuuya stays quiet.  
  
And then Endou turns to look at him, and smiles, the orange light hitting his face, making him look like a child of some God, and they are so close and  
Shuuya wants to kiss him so much it hurts.  
  
But he doesn’t.  
  
  
10.  
  
  
“I can’t fucking believe you,” Endou says, arms crossed over his chest.  
  
Shuuya can’t stop himself from snickering.  
  
“Unbelievable. Absurd. Totally in character, if I have to say it. You really want me to drive a Ferrari.”  
  
Shuuya nods, amused, “You don’t have a problem with my Porsche at home.”  
  
“Well, first, it’s yours, so if I crush it, I don’t feel guilty about it. Second, I’m used to the driving direction. In Italy it’s on the right side. It’s weird. And you want me to drive a sport car,” Endou shakes his head.  
  
“C’mon. You won’t crush it.”  
  
“You really have a lot of faith in me.”  
  
“Since the first day I met you,” Shuuya says and Endou gives in, opening the hood to put in their suitcases.  
  
  
11.  
  
  
The drive from Venice to Florence is three hours long with a few stops. They left in the afternoon, after a lazing morning, a long chat with Barbara the receptionist and a lunch in a pretty restaurant. They are trying to get to Florence before sunset.  
  
They spend the first hour is silence, interrupted only by Shuuya to give Endou directions alongside the GPS. This because Endou needs to get used to the car and to the road.  
  
After, when Endou feels more comfortable, Shuuya says, “Yuuka and Toramaru made a playlist for us.”  
  
“Oh? Did they?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m going to put it on,” he connects his phone to the AUX cable, then he opens Spotify to search for the playlist his sister and what he considers his little brother made.  
  
He clicks on the shuffle feature and the first song starts to play.  
  
It’s Britney Spears’ Toxic.  
  
Endou laughs, “A traditional ballad, I would say.”  
  
  
12.  
  
  
They stop to go to the bathroom, to do some gas and to buy something to eat. They forget to do one of these things.  
  
Almost two hours and half in their drive, Endou’s talking about how to make Raimon’s defence line stronger. That’s when the car starts to slow down.  
  
“Oh, fuck,” Endou whispers.  
  
“What’s going on?”  
  
“Did we… Gouenji, I think we are out of carburant,” he says, trying to drive the car to the rest stop on the side of the road.  
  
“That’s… impossible. We stopped to do it.”  
  
“I forgot.”  
  
“Oh my _God_.”  
  
Endou starts to laugh hysterically.  
  
Shuuya looks at him with utter disbelief on his face. Then he joins.  
  
  
13.  
  
  
After a long search for someone to call and ask for help, the only answer they get is: we can’t help you until tomorrow morning. So, they need to spend the night on a highway in the middle of nowhere (Endou says this and Shuuya answers him with: well, at least we are in Tuscany). Some random Good Samaritan stops occasionally to ask them what’s going on, but no one has a spare of diesel with them. They can’t use their phone because their battery is dying and their food is limited to candies, chocolate bars, a half-eaten sandwich, and two salads. Plus, two bottles of water.  
  
Also, a Ferrari isn’t the best place to spend the night in and it’s quite cold without a sleeping bag, but Shuuya isn’t upset. He could be angry, this is Endou’s fault, but he isn’t. He shakes his head when Endou tries to apologize.  
  
Endou is outside, sitting on the hood of the car when Shuuya joins him. He’s looking up, up, up, the sky clear of clouds and full of small shining dots. The lamppost is lighting up the rest area and Shuuya can see fields and fields of grass.  
  
“It takes me back,” Endou says, “At when we were traveling with the Inazuma Caravan to stop the aliens.”  
  
“Fake aliens.”  
  
“Still, they looked like pretty spacey to me.”  
  
Shuuya laughs, “They were. Also, they were scary.”  
  
“Can you believe Midorikawa was the reason of my nightmares?” Endou asks, lost in his memories.  
  
“He should’ve been an actor,” Shuuya observes.  
  
Endou hums.  
  
They stay like this, in silence, with only the sound of the cars passing on the highway to keep them company.  
  
Endou is still looking at the sky and Shuuya knows he’s searching.  
  
“Anything interesting?” Shuuya asks.  
  
His best friend nods, raises his arm and points at someplace Shuuya can’t see, not like him, “Ursa Major is right there.”  
  
Shuuya follows Endou’s finger with his eyes and tries to find the constellation.  
  
Endou always had a fascination with stars; he’d spend every night on the Inazuma Caravan’s roof just to look at them. In the years, this grown in a passion. He knows almost every constellation and star name. Shuuya likes the way Endou talks about it, the way he shines like the stars he loves so much.  
  
“The lights are ruining our vision, but… it’s there. Pretty.”  
  
“Tell me about it,” Shuuya says.  
  
Endou looks at him, “I did. Many times.”  
  
“First time was in Okinawa,” Shuuya admits then he smiles, “But I tend to forget.”  
  
Endou giggles, “Liar.”  
  
“C’mon…” he nudges him with his elbow, “I know you want to.”  
  
“Can you see it, at least?” Endou asks.  
  
Shuuya tries again, but it’s difficult for him. The fact is, Endou is always looking up, but Shuuya is always looking ahead.  
  
“No,” he huffs.  
  
“Look north, there,” Endou points, “Those seven stars? Do you see them?”  
  
Shuuya nods.  
  
Endou smiles.  
  
“That’s the Big Dipper— in Italian it’s _Grande Carro_ , I believe. It’s an asterism, a big group of stars you can see better. It’s different from a constellation.”  
  
“Is it?”  
  
“Yes. Those seven stars are the brightest in Ursa Major and you can always see them. They are… the back of the constellation. Can you see it now?”  
  
He’s talking softy, with love and care, and even if Shuuya already knows it, he can’t stop listening to him.  
  
Shuuya can see it, now, Ursa Major.  
  
“Greek mythology say that it represents Calisto, a nymph loved by Zeus, and because of that Hera, Zeus’ wife, transformed her into a bear. Zeus felt bad, I guess, so he gave her a spot in the sky, where she can shine in the sky all year. And people can easily spot her and think about her.” Endou explains, his eyes never looking down.  
  
“That’s sad,” Shuuya comments after a few moments of silence.  
  
Endou nods, “It is.”  
  
He crosses his arms on his chest and he pushes his back into the hood of the car. He lies there, looking at the sky, and Shuuya looks at him. He can’t stop. He tries, but his eyes inevitably find Endou, _always_. He can’t look away from Endou. From the way he breathes, the way his white shirt slips up, showing his stomach (Shuuya feels like a Victorian man), the way his spiky hair are a mess after Endou spent the afternoon touching it—Shuuya wants to do it too. Shuuya is attracted to him like a magnet and he can’t stop. If he stops, he dies.  
  
“I miss the kids.”  
  
Endou’s voice stops Shuuya’s brain from giving birth to other shameless thoughts.   
  
“Raimon?”  
  
“Yeah, my brain keeps telling me I should be a practice. How’s Tenma? How’s Kyousouke? I don’t know, I feel like a father with sixteen children who can’t be to be away from them. I’m thinking about calling Shindou, but maybe it’s too much.”  
  
Shuuya thinks about touching him, but he changes his mind, “Call them. I think they miss you too.”  
  
Endou shakes his head, “I’m just their coach.”  
  
“You are saying it like it’s not an important thing. You cried when Hibiki stepped out as our coach.”  
  
Endou smiles, then he turns to look up at Shuuya. He’s serious, his eyebrows frowned.  
  
“What?”  
  
He gets up in a sitting position.  
  
“I meant to ask… since Kidou left to go back at Teikoku. But you looked happy as whatever you are doing.”  
  
Shuuya tilts his head in confusion.  
  
Endou looks away from him.  
  
“Would you like to… become Raimon’s trainer? I think we need you and the kids love you and I actually asked to them and they would love to have you on the team.”  
  
Shuuya’s heart skips a beat. He doesn’t answer.  
  
“You are probably busy with your foundation and I know you are coaching Aoi’s team, I don’t why I’m asking… I just…”  
  
“Nakamura handles the foundation without me. I’m just there a couple of hours to approve stuff, sign some paperwork and give them money. And I coach Aoi’s team on Saturdays,” he utters, quickly.   
  
He would love to work with Endou at Raimon, he longs for it, but of course he never meant to ask him. After Kidou left, he thought he could do it, but  
Endou didn’t say he needed him, or anyone, to help him with the team, so he tried to forget it (adding another thing to his emotional baggage), even if Tsurugi came to his place sometimes to ask for pointers.  
  
“Are you…?” Endou tries.  
  
Shuuya nods, “I’m saying yes.”  
  
“You really want to?”  
  
“Why not? I have experience, more than you, actually.”  
  
Endou pushes him off the car and they are laughing.  
  
Then Endou puts his hands on his hips and looks at Shuuya with a smirk, “But you can’t be late. Ever!”  
  
  
14.  
  
  
Luckily, the next morning the help comes, and they are back on the road. They sleep poorly, of course, both scared (they are on a highway in the middle of a foreign country) and uncomfortable. Shuuya barely closed an eye. Endou slept more, because he’s Endou, but most of the night they spent it talking about meaningless stuff and laughing about their bad luck. The man who came to their rescue was so amused by both of them for being so stupid, that gave them a discount.  
  
Half an hour from Florence, Endou is in the middle of singing Whenever, Wherever by Shakira and Shuuya is searching for a place to sleep (again, no organisation whatsoever), foot-tapping along the song.  
  
Endou yawns constantly and Shuuya checks on him every five minutes.  
  
Thirty _Are you okays?_ in and Endou puts a hand on Shuuya’s thigh, squeeze it and says, “I’m good, stop asking.”  
  
They stay like that still they reach the city, Shuuya trying to breath and Endou singing happily.  
  
  
15.  
  
  
They find a hotel soon enough and this time they get a room with two beds. Shuuya sighs in relief. He spent the nights in Venice trying to not touch Endou, so he feels better to see that they don’t have to share.  
  
Endou’s face is unreadable when they get inside.  
  
Shuuya crashes on his bed— away from the window.   
  
When he wakes up, the sun is setting and Endou isn’t in the room. He probably went out to get food. Shuuya gets in the shower and feels clean for the first time in hours.  
  
His hair is dripping wet when Endou comes back. Shuuya’s shirtless, wearing only his pyjamas’ bottoms with small fires printed on.  
  
Endou stops five seconds too long when he sees him and Shuuya blushes because he knows Endou’s looking.  
  
“Got food,” he whispers.  
  
Shuuya nods.  
  
  
16.  
  
  
Next morning, Shuuya has a _plan_. A schedule. He wants to visit _everything_. And Endou just smiles and nods and shakes his head and pats Shuuya’s shoulder and giggles and looks confused most of the time.  
  
They are inside La Cattedrale di Santa Maria del Fiore, Florence’s cathedral. Shuuya is in awe.  
  
Shuuya found out he liked Art and Art History in high school, something to add to his evergreen love for soccer. Luckily, the university he (they) chose to attend had a good Art program and excellent soccer team. Endou doesn’t understand really well why he loves it so much, but he _asks,_ and he _listens_ and he tries to see what Shuuya sees, even if he can’t. He has a lot of questions and Shuuya has a lot of answers.  
  
They are close to the altar and Endou is looking up, then he tilts his head and Shuuya understands what he wants.  
  
“This Cathedral has the biggest brick dome ever made. It’s considered one of the most important architectural work in the world in Europe since Roman  
ages. They made a public competition in 1420 to choose someone to entrust the work. Two won, Brunelleschi and Ghiberti, but in the end, Ghiberti was kicked out and now the Dome is known as La Cupola del Brunelleschi.”   
  
Endou nods, “Neat.”  
  
“The frescoes are by Giorgio Vasari.”  
  
“Why are you saying it with so much disgust?”  
  
“Because I am,” then Endou rises an eyebrow in confusion and he clarifies, “Disgusted.”  
  
Endou shrugs, he doesn’t understand, but he supports him with a thumbs up.  
  
“And also, here happened La Congiura dei Pazzi.” Shuuya prompts.  
  
“What?”  
  
“This family, the Pazzi, which means crazy in Italian by the way, killed Giuliano de’ Medici, Lorenzo the Magnificent’s brother. And one of their friends died to protect him.”  
  
“Here? In a church? They killed him in a church?” Endou looks so shocked, making Shuuya laugh.  
  
“Yes, they wanted to kill Lorenzo too because they wanted to control Florence. They were supported by the Pope.” Shuuya explains walking through the Cathedral, Endou following him silently.  
  
“Well, that’s so fucked up.”  
  
“The culprits were hanged on the Palazzo della Signoria.” Shuuya sits down on the bench, crossing his legs and Endou does the same, opening them.  
  
“Rough,” Endou comments.  
  
“They killed his brother.”  
  
“Eye for an eye isn’t the right answer.”  
  
“It was the fifteenth century, Endou.”  
  
Endou laughs, “Right.”  
  
  
17.  
  
  
Shuuya is ready to get into La Galleria degli Uffizi and Endou has to hold his arm to not lose him.  
  
It’s after lunch when they get in and Shuuya starts to walk fast, his boots hitting the old floor of the museum. Endou tries his best to follow him through the crowd.  
  
“C’mon,” Shuuya says.  
  
“I’m moving, calm down.”  
  
“I’m calm.”  
  
“You are not, you are overexcited puppy which it’s weird because you are never excited. Like, never.”  
  
“That’s defamation,” Shuuya stops and looks at Endou, pointing at him, “I’m perfectly collected. Look at my face: stone!”  
  
“Admit it! You are excited!”  
  
“I’m not. Want to know why? Uffizi are a Vasari’s project. I’m disgusted,” he smiles.  
  
“What in the world that man did to you?”  
  
“I don’t know. Anyway, do you want to know that this museum was conceived has a place to keep the Medici’s family private collection? And that it was one of the first public museums?”  
  
“Well, you are telling me anyways, so keep going.”  
  
Shuuya laughs.  
  
“They are organized in a chronological order or artistic current, so we start with the part dedicated to the medieval art, and we proceed till the end which is early ‘700.”  
  
“Cool, so it’s like time travel.”  
  
Shuuya shakes his head.  
  
Every corridor is full of statues and Shuuya tells Endou that they are real, but also copies like Lacoonte and his sons.  
  
They keep walking and Shuuya keeps explaining things and it’s probably the most he talked in the last year, but it’s okay. He was always the silent one in the group, but with Endou he feels so comfortable that he’s able to talk and talk until he’s tired.  
  
It’s great, everything is so great and Shuuya loves it so much and he loves it that he’s there with Endou and Endou is the best person to spend time with, and Shuuya loves it. Longs for it. He already misses it even if he’s living it in that moment.  
  
They are in a room full of people and families and screaming children and screaming women and screaming men.  
  
Shuuya could sense the headache coming.  
  
“Crowdy,” Endou comments in a murmur.  
  
He’s close because he needs to. Shuuya can feel Endou’s hand on his lower back.  
  
“Famous piece.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli. Iconic work of Italian Renaissance. Beautiful, but really famous. So, lots and lots of people.”  
  
Endou hooks his chin on Shuuya’s shoulder and he can feel him breathing against his cheek. Shuuya is taller than him, so he’s probably on his tiptoes and Shuuya wants to yell, it’s too much, but also, it’s not enough. Shuuya needs him closer.  
  
“What about it?”  
  
“Represent the ideal of feminine beauty. And you know the myth.”  
  
“Yes, I know it but tell me about it anyway. Please,” he whispers.  
  
Shuuya relents and starts, “Botticelli decided to paint the seashell version of Venus’ birth. She was born already a woman and she reached the Island  
of Cipro on a seashell pushed by the wind, Zephyr, and one the seashore a Horae is waiting for her to give her a flowered cloak. Look, there,” Shuuya points and Endou gets closer and now Shuuya’s back is glued to Endou’s front.  
  
He tries to put some distance but Endou’s hand is on his side and… does he want to? Get away from his touch? He needs to be honest with himself. No, he wants to stay like this forever. And maybe Endou wants this too. He doesn’t know why Endou is being so touchy, so warm, so soft, so loving and caring, but Shuuya knows that is something he craves. It’s like some forbidden food, if he takes a bite, he can’t stop it.  
  
He doesn’t understand, though. He can’t sleep at night without thinking: why is Endou acting this way? Does he… know? The way Shuuya feels about him? He hopes that isn’t the case, because if he knows, everything about this is just cruel.  
  
Shuuya doesn’t have an explanation and he doesn’t plan to ask. He doesn’t want his heart to shatter when Endou will tell him that he has it wrong, that they are just friends and friends sometimes are touchy and do nice things for their friends and that’s doesn’t mean they are in love with their best friends because, _no, Gouenji, not everyone falls in love with their best friend;_ not everyone wants something romantic from something platonic.  
  
Oh, God. He sounds like his fifteen old self; he’s regressing instead of progressing.  
  
He thinks then _, Is it wrong of me lean in when he touches me?_  
  
Is he wrong from wanting what Endou actually gives him without asking? Is it wrong of him not refusing Endou’s affection, both physical and emotional?  
  
He thinks, harder. And he comes to a realization that was there, hiding behind his anxiety and issues and problems and a little of internalized homophobia and it says: _no, it’s not wrong_. Endou is giving it to him, freely.  
  
Shuuya doesn’t want to ruin their friendship, he tells himself, he doesn’t want to. But… he wants something. He wants to believe that maybe there is something real between them. And he can. They are faraway, kilometres of distance separate them and their life, Shuuya’s life, Endou’s life. They are different, in a different place, and Shuuya can indulge into the fantasy that maybe they are a couple, they are on a date and they are in love with each other.  
  
He can do that, and he doesn’t feel guilty for the first time in years.  
  
And even if this is what is going to break his heart irreversibly, _fuck it._ He’s been through enough shit to get over it.  
  
He’s another Shuuya, now, and he doesn’t think about the future, he only thinks about the present.  
  
So, he leans in.  
  
Endou puts his arms around him, quick but tender.  
  
He relaxes into Endou’s embrace.  
  
  
18.  
  
  
“I swear to the Goddess of Victory, this place changes you.” Endou says, but he’s not mean, he looks so amused and full of affection.  
  
“I like art,” Shuuya bites back, shrugging.  
  
They are walking close to each other, the back of their hands brushing. Shuuya can hold it, if he wants to.  
  
They are almost at the end of their visit and Shuuya already misses it. Everything. The bar, the ceilings, the statues and, of course, the art. That Raffaello Sanzio he fell in love with the first time he saw it, and everything else.  
  
But he’s happy.  
  
He has the best piece of art with him.  
  
“You do. You really do. You _almost_ cried because of a painting. I never saw you cry except for three times and two of them were soccer related,” Endou comments, fondly.  
  
Shuuya thinks about how much he cried when Endou wasn’t there to see it.  
  
“I did not cry.”  
  
Endou stops and turns to look at him, the earnest smile on his lips “Almost,” and he touches Shuuya on the tip of his nose with his finger.  
  
Shuuya blushes and he doesn’t try to hide it, “Artemisia Gentileschi’s work is touching.”  
  
“Is it?” Endou asks, then he lowers down to message his legs, complaining about the pain from walking too much.  
  
Baby.  
  
“Yes, the painting you mentioned. It represents her desire to avenge her rape.”  
  
Endou’s eyes looks up, “Then I hope he got what he deserved.”  
  
“Again, Endou, it was the seventeenth century.”  
  
  
19.  
  
  
Uffizi starts the change. Of course, he’s still fighting it. He thinks he can’t stop fighting it. The way he refuses to give in, in this battle with himself is outstanding. He’s not a quitter, after all, and he’s stubborn. But, the subtle change is there and when Endou tells him he wants to see a movie and gets in his bed, Shuuya just nods.  
  
Now, he doesn’t wake up Endou when he inevitably falls asleep next to him. He just smiles and goes to sleep as well.  
  
  
20.  
  
  
The last day in Florence is different than the last day in Venice. Shuuya decides that he wants to go the Accademia and see Michelangelo’s David and Endou answers with a wink.  
“So, what about him?”  
  
“Masculine ideal of beauty.”  
  
“Like Venus?”  
  
Shuuya takes his long hair and ties them in a manbun. He’s struggling because his earring is long, and his hair decided to get stuck in it. Endou is looking at him, waiting for an answer. Well, he looks like he’s waiting, but Shuuya can feel his eyes following every movement of his hands.  
  
When he’s done, he answers, “Yes, just like her. The citizens of Florence are proud because they have in their city the two standards of ideal beauty.”  
  
“Yeah, bullshit.”  
  
Shuuya gives him a side eye look, “Why?”  
  
“They never saw you with your hair tied up like this.”  
  
  
21.  
  
  
Another sunset. They are on Ponte Vecchio and the sun is going down, and everything is orange, matching Endou’s shirt and shoes.  
  
Shuuya’s bracelet catches the light.  
  
The wind caresses them, making Shuuya’s hair float around.  
  
“Don’t you miss playing?” he asks and Endou looks at him, confusion all over his face.  
  
Shuuya smiles, “Soccer.”  
  
“I know what you mean. I didn’t expect it, thought.”  
  
“So?” he prompts, again.  
  
“Yeah, a lot.”  
  
Shuuya looks away, eyes focused on the river Arno. Different from Venice, it’s not sea water, but mountain water.  
  
“Do you ever think about… going back?”  
  
“Going back to play in pro league, do you mean?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Endou pouts and crosses his arms. Thinking. Then he opens his mouth to speak.  
  
“Sometimes. I don’t want to lie and tell you that I don’t miss it and I’m a hundred percent satisfied with my life. Playing soccer is what makes me what I am, but at the same time I made peace with myself. I’m happy, now. I have a job that I love, my family is trying to put the pieces back together and I have my friends with me… and…y—well, I can’t ask for something more.”  
  
Shuuya nods.  
  
He feels the same. He misses it, of course. But he gave up everything for a reason and he’s going to stick with it.  
  
“And you? Do you miss playing?”  
  
“Like a lung,” Shuuya answers without hesitation, “But mostly, I miss playing with you,” he thinks about adding _and Kidou_ , but then he brains says: fuck it and he goes along with it, “It’s different, when you are on the field with me. I feel safe, I feel powerful. I feel I can win even if we are losing.”  
  
“Oh,” Endou murmurs, and then smiles, his eyes glassy and the wind making his hair fall into his face, “Me too.”  
  
For the second time, during a sunset, Shuuya thinks about kissing his best friend.  
  
He doesn’t.  
  
  
22.  
  
  
Driving from Florence to Rome approximately takes three hours and a half, without traffic or breaks.  
  
Shuuya already called an overjoyed Fideo Ardena to tell him that they’ll be in Rome in the afternoon. Fideo sounded so enthusiastic that made Shuuya happy.  
  
An hour in and Endou is telling him about this movie he watched with Aki. Endou loves movies and loves watching movies with Aki, who also loves watching movies with him. Once upon a time, Shuuya would’ve been so jealous of Aki. He was so jealous of Aki all the time in high school. He didn’t think about being jealous of Natsumi.  
  
The point is, they only watch trash movies. They are so bad, that Shuuya can’t believe someone had the guts to write them, produce them and direct them. He doesn’t even know how someone would ruin their career to act in something like this. But Endou loves them and enjoys them because they are so bad and disgusting. And Aki too. And before Daisuke’s death, they used to meet every Thursday to watch a stupid awful film at Aki’s place. And sometimes Tenma would join and also Shinsuke when he was there to study or just hang out. Then they shared the experience with their friends and the movie night of two people with bad taste become a group of people with bad taste. Even Kyousuke was there.  
  
Shuuya is listening, even if he doesn’t agree with his friend’s choices (his favourite movies are Frozen and Mamma Mia!, to name a few and they are all good and people can’t judge him).  
  
“So, there is this monster, yeah, and it lives in the lake and it’s basically a bathtub with green water and it’s so bad and Aki was laughing and Tenma was in tears—” Shuuya’s ringtone stops him mid-speech and Shuuya takes the phone out of his pocket and it’s a videocall, from Kidou.  
  
Kidou worries. It’s a characteristic of his personality. He worries about a lot of things, but mostly, he worries about his friends. So, he calls _a lot_. A least every day, on normal circumstances. Shuuya can’t really blame him after everything that happened _to_ them and _between_ them. And now they are in another country. Away from his control and protection. He can’t stop himself to check upon them twice a day. Which Shuuya finds cute, but also _please leave us alone you are not our mom_.  
  
Shuuya answers the videocall and Kidou’s face appear on the screen. Then he puts it in the car holder thingy attached to the dashboard and now their friend can see both of them. And Shuuya knows he’s doing a mental check-up on them: they are fine, no injuries, Gouenji looks a little bit tired (Ask him about later), Endou looks good.   
  
“Yo, Kidou!” Endou greets, his eyes focused on the street ahead of him.  
  
Endou is a good driver. Not something anyone expect him to be because he’s overexcited all the time and he can’t be calm. He doesn’t have a car, though, so he usually drives his friends’ car (Shuuya’s Porsche, Kidou’s Tesla, Aki’s JEEP, Fubuki’s KIA). And they all trust him. Shuuya doesn’t have a license, but he owns a car. More than one, actually, and Endou drives them all. Or Toramaru does. He doesn’t have a license because he’s incompetent, can’t do too many things at the same time or his brain goes cuckoo, but he likes car and he likes owing them and he likes when Endou drives him around.  
  
Kidou says _Hi_ back and Shuuya remembers that he’s being watched by the most attentive person he knows, who also knows all of his secrets.  
  
Shuuya focuses on him, pushing Endou out of his mind for a little. Kidou is at home from what Shuuya can see from the background, he’s wearing normal glasses for once, his red irises looking straight into his soul. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans, something that happens once in a blue moon.  
  
“Date night?” Shuuya asks and Kidou sighs.  
  
Then Fudou Akio appears next to him, his shark smile flashing on the screen, “Yes.”  
  
Kidou pushes him out of the frame, “Please don’t mind the idiot. Where are you going?”  
  
“Hey!” Fudou protests in the background but Kidou ignores him.  
  
Endou huffs a laugh and Shuuya shakes his head. It’s weird, to see them likes this even if it’s been years since they started dating. At first, Shuuya couldn’t believe it. It was their first year at uni and they were adjusting. And bang, Kidou comes back to their shared place and says: _by the way, me and Fudou are dating, he’s coming over_. At that, Endou dropped a glass of orange juice on the parquet and Shuuya gasped hard. He knew they were on good terms, but _dating_? Them? Like, _boyfriends_? Kidou in a relationship with Fudou Akio? Even if he could see Fudou having a crush on his best friend, he didn’t think about Kidou having feelings for him too.  
  
But now, they are happy. Of course, they are different and they fight a lot and Shuuya can’t count how many times he found Kidou outside his apartment after having an argument with Fudou, but Shuuya knows they have the ability to make their relationship working in a way that Shuuya would never fully understand. They also love each other. And they have a good therapist. A very, very good therapist. Shuuya thinks that a relationship like theirs, born from shared trauma, needs it.  
  
“We are going to Rome,” Endou takes an exit in that moment.  
  
“Oh, cool.”  
  
Shuuya sighs, “Please stop worrying like a mother hen, we are grownups.”  
  
“I’m not worried. I’m also very aware of your age.”  
  
“He’s lying,” that’s Fudou, trying to steal the phone from his boyfriend’s hands, “He was saying things like you are not responsible enough to be own your own and that you need a nanny. And that you are going to get yourself kill, especially you, Endou.”  
  
“I did not say that. About the nanny. The other things are true.”  
  
Endou laughs hard, “Well… luckily you don’t know what happened a few days ago.”  
  
Shuuya rolls his eyes and says, “Endou.”  
  
And then, “What happened?!” and it’s Kidou’s tone of voice of when he’s worried but he’s done with his stupid friends always trying to kill themselves (in their defence, Shuuya wants to say that they attract trouble and Kidou is guilty as them).  
  
Endou gives Shuuya a side glance meaning he’s sorry even if he isn’t and tells them the story of how the both of them got stuck for a night on the highway and by the end, Fudou is in tears and they can’t see him anymore because he fell from laughing too hard and Kidou is trying so hard to stop himself from sighing and shaking his head.  
  
“I leave you alone for five minutes…”  
  
“It’s actually a week, by now, so we are thriving, even without you,” Shuuya interjects.  
  
“What can I say, Gouenji, you are doing your best,” Kidou gives him a smile and he smiles back.  
  
Fudou is still laughing in the background.  
  
“This is good,” Endou starts, changing the lanes, “I miss you, guys. Next time me and Gouenji are going on a trip, you are invited.”  
  
Endou can’t see Kidou, because he’s driving, but their best friend he’s looking at Shuuya with an eyebrow raised. He mouths _me and Gouenji_ and Shuuya shrugs.  
  
He stopped asking himself what the fuck is going on with Endou days ago.  
  
“Turn it!” Fudou, again and then he appears on the screen and he’s lying on the floor, brown hair a mess making him look like a lion, “Yeah, Endou, let’s go on a trip. The four of us, everything payed by Gouenji and Kidou. I was thinking Hawaii—Ouch!”  
  
Kidou kicked him in the ribs and Shuuya snickers.  
  
“I think it’s a great idea. Bora Bora is also a great option,” Endou nods, in agreement. He is joking, of course, Shuuya can sense it in his tone, but the whole thing makes him smile.  
Fudou nods too, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need a holiday.”  
  
Kidou keeps showing his boyfriend, but they can hear him sighing and then he says, “Like you deserve a holiday. You _don’t work_.”  
  
Fudou sits up and crosses his legs and pouts, “I can’t work because we can’t open the restaurant until these two come back!”  
  
Shuuya is confused, “Are you waiting for us?” and he also feels a little bit… guilty.  
  
Fudou looks away, “Tobitaka doesn’t want to open if you are not here. Something like…” he tilts his head, “Having all our friends there. I don’t understand, of course.”  
  
“Of course,” Endou and Kidou say at the same time and Shuuya smiles.  
  
Fudou is like that, and they can’t ask him for more. But he makes his heart warm, that they are waiting for them to open up Rairaiken.  
  
When he was thirteen, and it was his first day at Raimon, he didn’t think much of it. He didn’t know that the people he would meet, would be the most important people in his whole life, not only in middle school or in the soccer team. The thing about them – Raimon, Inazuma Japan – they stayed. They stayed through high school (Gouenji and Endou ended up in the same class, meanwhile Kidou was in another school with Kazemaru and Sakuma, but they would always meet up after, to study, hanging out, play soccer), they stayed through university and they stayed through his time as a professional player (he shared a world tournament with the most of them before retiring) and they were still there when he fucked up with Fifth Sector. They are just his friends, these men are his _family._ Partners, brothers.  
  
He’s thankful for all of them. Especially for Endou and Kidou. They are stuck with him and he’s stuck with them and he’s never going to leave them. Never. And he knows they think the same.  
  
It’s quiet for a few seconds then Fudou gets up and says, “Okay, stop cheating on me with your best friends. It’s disgusting, I’m in front of you. Let’s go. I’m hungry. And we need to pick up Hikaru.”  
  
“Say hi to him!” Endou says and Fudou nods and he’s out of the room.  
  
Kidou turns the camera and he’s back on screen.  
  
“Gotta go.”  
  
“Have fun,” Shuuya and Endou say the same thing at the same time.  
  
“I miss you. Come back safe. Call me if something happens! And that means if your car stops again on the highway, you call me first and then you call for help.”  
  
“We miss you too, _mom_. And okay, we will,” Shuuya tells him, even if they won’t.  
  
Endou laughs.  
  
“What?” Kidou asks.  
  
“Nothing, I like how being old made us soft. Now is _I miss you_ and _I love you_ and _stay safe_. When we were fourteen, we would grunt into the phone and that was it. When I used to call Gouenji he would hang up on me without saying goodbye. And you,” he looks at Kidou for the first time in twenty minutes, “You didn’t answer any of my calls. You were always busy doing something else when I was calling you and then you would be angry at me when you would call, and I didn’t answer. And, I swear once I called Tsunami and he burped instead of saying _hello_.”  
  
Shuuya smiles, big.  
  
Kidou nods, seriously, “I think it’s called not being victims of toxic masculinity and being friends for over a decade. And also, being comfortable with each other. Anyways, I have to go. Miss you, love you, xoxo.”  
  
Endou sends fakes kisses and the videocall ends.  
  
“Good, now please call Aki, you need to hear from her about the movie with the monster and the lake,” Endou says.  
  
They call Aki and she’s not alone. Half of Raimon is there (Endou is elated when he can say hi to Hikaru before Fudou and Kidou gets to pick him up) and Endou is smiling while driving, laughing and he looks so happy, so serene, that Shuuya feels the same just looking at him. The kids keep asking questions about their trip and Endou tells them about everything and they look so entranced with him.   
Shuuya understands.  
  
After, he notices a text from Kidou: _Call me when you can we need to talk about whatever is going on xoxo._  
  
_What the fuck is going on with you and these xoxo_ , Shuuya texts back.  
  
  
23.  
  
  
Fideo’s late. Shuuya gets it. Being in time isn’t his quality either.  
  
They are in a bookstore. Endou doesn’t understand why they can’t leave Termini Station, but he doesn’t try to get an answer after Shuuya tells him to wait and see.  
  
The bookstore is big and has three floors and most of the books are in Italian, of course, but they are having fun reading some words and trying to figure out what they mean.  
  
And then, here he comes.  
  
Fideo Ardena.  
  
Shuuya knows Fideo is handsome. He’s gay and he’s not blind, but when he sees him for the first time in years (in person because Endou made them watch most of Fideo’s games), he thinks… fuck, he’s hot.  
  
His blue eyes are full of happiness when he spots them and his hair a shorter than before, still wild and dirty blonde. He’s wearing jeans and a soft pink shirt.  
  
Shuuya knows he is a celebrity, in Italy. But people ignore him as he rushes towards them. It’s like he has an invisibility coat on him, like he has the ability to blend himself with the crowd.  
  
When he reaches them, he hugs Endou from behind. Endou, being distracted with a picture book, jumps, and almost scream.  
  
He turns and when he sees Fideo, he indeed screams. Fideo’s laughing at that point and Endou is talking fast (“What’s going on? Oh my God Fideo is it you? What’s going on?”) and Shuuya is in the corner, arm crossed and little smile on his face.  
  
“It’s been long time since we saw each other, Mamoru!” Fideo hugs him again and Endou does the same.  
  
“I—can’t believe it. Fideo. It’s you. Wow, I…”  
  
Fideo gets away and nods with a full smile on his lips, then he looks up at Shuuya who greets him with a wave of his hand.  
  
Then Endou understands.  
  
“Gouenji?” It’s the way he says his name that Shuuya gets what is he asking: _is this you? Did you do this? Why? I’m so happy, thank you. But why?_  
  
“I made Nakamura track him down.”  
  
“Of course, you did,” and Endou is next to him, an arm around his shoulders to say thank you.  
  
Fideo claps his hands together to get their attention.  
  
“Let’s go, then. C’mon, take your things, my car is outside, and I parked illegally. We really need to move.”  
  
Fideo is different from when he was thirteen, captain of the Italian national team. He is relaxed, laid back. He talks his mind most of the time. Shuuya knows they all changed (Endou is more mature and Shuuya is way more reckless), it’s part of the process of growing up, but he can see that this is the real Fideo and what they meet years ago was a bundle of stress and responsibility (Hide left and he was in charge of a team that he didn’t know how to guide). Now, he’s Italy’s top player, Rome’s forward and national sweetheart—Someoka’s words and Shuuya can see why.  
  
“Oh,” Endou says, “We are going with you,” like he now realizes the implications of Fideo being there. He looks so confused, and he gives a glance back at Shuuya.  
  
“Yeah, Mamoru. You are coming to stay over at my place, with me and my girlfriend,” Fideo explains mostly with his hands.   
  
They are walking so fast to the car which is… pretty small, and it’s cream and parked so awfully bad that Shuuya, without a license, could do better.   
  
“Girlfriend?” Endou asks when he gets in, sitting in the passenger’s seat.  
  
Shuuya is in the back like a child with his suitcase.  
  
Fideo starts the car and nods, “Her name’s Bianca. You will love her,” then he smiles big, “She’s the love of my life.”  
  
He seems so in love that makes Shuuya look away.  
  
“Oh, I’m happy for you,” Endou says, his voice sincere as his smile.  
  
“And what about you? How’s… _il nome_ , uhm, right! Natsumi?”  
  
“Natsumi?” Endou sounds confused.  
  
Shuuya wants to hide. He doesn’t hate Natsumi, he’s indifferent about her. Well, if he has to be honest, there was a time where he would like to see Natsumi disappear, but it’s over now. When they were in a relationship – Endou and Natsumi – it was the worst time of Shuuya’s life. And not just because Endou was in love (well, it’s up for discussion, because Kidou thinks he was never in love with Natsumi and he was just… trying to be in love with Natsumi for the sake of it) with someone else, but because Natsumi was… was a little bit of a bitch. Maybe she didn’t know she was being a bitch towards him, but she was and that made Shuuya being an asshole towards her. And Endou was just there not understanding why his best friend and his girlfriend couldn’t get along. He knows he was being mean, but Natsumi was just as bad. After their break-up, Natsumi reached out to him to talk, a couple of weeks before leaving Japan: she was going back to Cotarl. Shuuya was surprised to receive her call, but he didn’t deny her. So, they meet up in a coffee shop and Natsumi smiled sadly and told him to be happy and that she was sorry. And then she left.  
  
That was the last time Shuuya saw her in person. He still doesn’t understand _why_. Why she said all that? All he knows is that now she’s happy—Haruna and Aki call her every week. She is now in a happy relationship with _Rococo Urpa_ , all of the people, and Shuuya knows that she and Endou are good friends.  
  
Still, hearing about her makes Shuuya think about bad times.  
  
“Yeah, your girlfriend?” Fideo rises an eyebrow.  
  
Endou shakes his head, “We split up like two years ago, Fideo. She’s in Cotarl, now, with _Rococo_.”  
  
“What?” Fideo sounds shocked, “Rococo Urpa, Little Gigant’s capitan?”  
  
Endou nods, “Yeah, yeah. We broke up and she flew away and a couple months later they were together.”  
  
He said all this with a smile on his face.  
  
“Are you okay?” Fideo asks, concerned. For nothing, of course. Because Endou looks like he doesn’t care, he looks happy talking about his ex-girlfriend and his rival both on the field and for the affection of his Grandfather.   
  
Endou nods, “Me and Natsumi… we didn’t work out as I thought. As my Grandpa thought.”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“Oh, trust me. I’m fine. It’s been a long time since then and…” he looks in the rear-view mirror and catches Shuuya’s eyes, “I don’t know, but she wasn’t my soulmate. And clearly I wasn’t hers.”  
  
Fideo looks at Endou with the corner of his eye and Shuuya can physically feel Fideo’s brain move in some weird direction that concerns him too, because when he stops at a red light, he glances back with confusion all over his face. Then he looks at Endou. And then at Shuuya again. And then back at Endou.  
  
He wants to say something.  
  
Shuuya says, “It’s green,” and they speed.  
  
Shuuya stays quiet and Fideo seems to forget whatever was on his mind after Endou starts to talk about soccer and asking him how he is doing in the team and about his girlfriend and about Blasi and Hide and everyone else.  
  
Shuuya really needs to call Kidou.  
  
  
24.  
  
  
Fideo lives in a big flat in a super tall, super fancy skyscraper—twenty-eight floors and the first one ever made in Rome.  
  
He shows them the guest room (one bed, of course, and it’s not a problem), the bathroom, the kitchen saying that they can use everything and please don’t ask for permission if you need anything. He has a long list of numbers attached to the fridge they can call if they are in trouble, wants to eat take out or whatever other dumb reason.  
  
Then he cooks for them (and Bianca).  
  
The moment he puts the food on the table, the door opens, and a girl gets in, her heels hitting the parquet clearly. She’s blonde, she’s tall and she’s absolutely someone that Shuuya sees Fideo dating. Also, he sure he knows her.  
  
She notices them and smiles big and warm. She greets them with, “Hello, hi, hello!” and she kicks off her shoes to run towards them.  
  
Bianca kisses Fideo on the lips, a quick peck and then she turns to look at them, sitting at the table, spaghetti getting cold.  
  
“I’m Bianca, but you already know,” she introduces herself, her accent strong, not like Fideo’s, who speaks English like he is mother tongue, “Good, then, I’m going to wash my hands and we’ll talk! I’m so happy to have you here, by the way.”  
  
She keeps talking on her way to the bathroom, “Fideo speaks so highly of you, always Mamoru that, Mamoru this! I always wanted to meet you and now…” she comes back, and she claps her hands together and giggles, “I’m happy, really.”  
  
Endou gets up to shakes her hand, “I wish I could say the same, but I found out about you… two hours ago?”  
  
Bianca laughs and takes Endou’s hand, “It’s okay, I was expecting that. I mean, I know for sure that the last time you and Fideo talked, was years ago and he still didn’t play for la Roma.”  
  
Endou blushes a little and he touches the back of his neck with his free hand, “Yes, we kind of lost each other. Gouenji is the reason why I am here, actually!” and then he points at Shuuya who was trying to be chill.  
  
Because in front of them there is Fideo’s girlfriend, but Fideo’s girlfriend is Bianca Prendi, fashion designer, business owner and Instagram influencer. Also, one of the most famous girls in the whole social media business.  
  
Shuuya likes fashion and it’s not a secret. He likes to wear and own brands stuff for the sake of it. And Bianca’s is household name in that world. It’s kind of cool, actually, to meet someone who made alone a whole business just because she liked to dress up and making clothes.  
  
“Bianca Prendi,” Shuuya shakes her hand too.  
  
“You know my name?” she asks, her blonde curly hair moving when she tilts her head.  
  
“Yeah, of course. You are the CEO of White Clouds, aren’t you?”  
  
Bianca beams, “I am! You also know my company?”  
  
“Yes, I came across your work a few years ago at a fashion show where my team was invited to attend for promos. I was and I’m still impressed.”  
  
“Wow, Gouenji, are you trying to steal my girlfriend?” Fideo jokes.  
  
Shuuya turns to look at Fideo “Don’t worry about that, she’s not my type,” then he adds to Bianca, “Sorry.”  
  
She laughs, hard.  
  
At that Fideo’s eyes shine, “Not your type, uh…”  
  
Shuuya ignores him and Bianca keeps laughing.  
  
“So, Gouenji knows you… I take that you are pretty famous?” Endou gives voices at his thoughts, once they are eating Fideo’s homemade dinner.  
  
“She is,” both Shuuya and Fideo answers.  
  
“You are cute,” she comments.  
  
Endou then nods, mouth full of spaghetti, “That’s cool,” he says when he swallows, “What do you do, exactly?”  
  
Bianca seems to think hard about her response, “I make clothes, I wear them, I take photos and I post them on Instagram and people love it.”   
  
Endou drinks a little bit of water, “You can do that?”  
  
“Yes, you can,” Shuuya says, “This is why social media presence is important.”  
  
Bianca nods, religiously, “I created an empire with Instagram posts and tweets.”  
  
Fideo sighs, “People also love to have a sneak peak in the life of rich white girl.”  
  
Bianca smiles at that, “That’s also very true.”  
  
Shuuya looks at them and somethings clicks in his mind, “Wait, so your mysterious boyfriend is Fideo?”  
  
“Mysterious?” Endou sounds confused.  
  
“Our relationship isn’t public. Not yet, anyway. But I post pics of my mysterious boyfriend all the time, without showing his face and people go nuts  
about it.” Bianca takes a sip of her wine.  
  
“Why?” Shuuya asks.  
  
Fideo leans back on his chair and passes a hand through his hair, “Too much attention. It would be… distracting, in a way. I love Bianca, but I don’t like to think that when people see her the only thing, they think it’s: here she comes, Fideo Ardena’s girlfriend. She’s a CEO, and she’s a fashion designer.  
She’s an influencer and she’s shaping a generation. People don’t need to know we are a couple. For now.”  
  
“Thanks, honey. That’s very thoughtful of you to say. Also, soccer fans are crazy, and I don’t want them in my dms. And it’s fun when my followers try to  
guess who he is.”  
  
Everyone laughs.  
  
Then Shuuya has an idea and it’s an idea so capitalistic he is disgusted with himself. A little. A little disgusted, but he can take it.  
  
“Bianca, do you mind helping me with a thing?”  
  
  
25.  
  
  
“I can’t believe you asked Bianca to promote your charity organization.”  
  
“She said yes,” Shuuya defends himself.  
  
They are watching Bianca record herself on her Instagram story talking about Shuuya’s foundation and its impact on the soccer world, but also on  
children’s life; the way the foundation is giving more opportunity to kids to play and have access to different types of education.  
  
The fact is, Bianca said yes because Shuuya was so earnest about it, that she was in tears at the end.  
  
“She’s too nice.”  
  
“She is.”  
  
  
26.  
  
The next day, it’s sightseeing time and Shuuya and Endou are about to hit every monumental place in Rome. Their chaperones are with them, Bianca’s driving her Lexus and Fideo is switching from radio station to radio station.  
  
“Fideo, lascia perdere.”  
  
Fideo leaves the radio alone.  
  
Shuuya feels comfortable with both of them; Endou loves them. They had spent the night talking and playing board games (Bianca and Shuuya vs Fideo and Endou, usually) and it had been so enjoyable and pleasant. Shuuya didn’t feel like he was a stranger and he didn’t feel neither like an old acquaintance, but he felt like a welcomed and missed friend. And it was a little bit weird, since he and Fideo never had more than a conversation. It was always Endou and Kidou that were closer with the Italian player, and Kidou even played a soccer season with him, here in Italy.  
  
But everything was and still is great. They both took a day off (even if isn’t tournament season, Fideo still has training and Bianca… well, Bianca can do whatever she wants since she is her own boss) to spend it with them, showing them their city.  
Of course, they start with the Colosseum. Shuuya can’t think another more iconic place than it. It’s early morning and it’s a mid-weekday and there aren’t a lot of people around, but he keeps looking at Bianca and Fideo who aren’t doing anything to hide their true identity.  
  
“Please, tell me how people don’t recognize you in your own country,” he states his thoughts.  
  
Fideo puts a hand under his chin and hums. Bianca is holding his other hand.  
  
“Well, they don’t imagine to see Fideo Ardena and Bianca Prendi walking down the street like normal, non-famous citizens. They think they recognize us, but their brain will supply: no, it’s someone who look like them,” Fideo answers, honestly, “It’s a theory, of course, I don’t know the truth, but it’s rare they will stop me and ask me if I am Fideo, so I think I am right.”  
  
“Yeah,” Bianca agrees, “It’s like, it’s impossible for them see us in person, they probably think we only exist when he plays, or I post on Instagram.”  
  
Endou nods, “I think it makes sense. Nobody stopped me when I played pro overseas.”  
  
“Did you go out?” Shuuya asks.  
  
Endou smiles, “Well, to go to practice.”  
  
They take photos next to Colosseum, and they visit the Roman Forum. They pass their morning like this, joking around and Fideo explains something he knows because he studied it in school and Shuuya corrects him, sometimes, because well, he has a degree in it.  
  
It’s nice, but they are hungry. Fideo persuades them to go to eat in this great, top-notch Japanese restaurant and Shuuya and Endou both agree because they miss home, and they miss their food. And they are not Italians, a population that refuses to eat in Italian restaurants when they are overseas—or that’s what Fideo says.  
  
Everything it’s going well. Very well, indeed. Endou is elated, laughs, talks, giggles, screams, jokes. And Shuuya too. He’s quieter and more serious than Endou, of course, but he hopes their friends can see how much his enjoying their company.  
  
Their food arrives and they start eating and it’s good. Of course, nothing it’s like home, ingredients are different for many reasons, but it’s not that bad.  
  
Without thinking, he notices that Endou’s plate is empty. He picks up, with his chopsticks, some sashimi from his and puts it in Endou’s. Endou stops, looks at him, smiles, and eats.  
  
He does the same with the next few things that the waiter brings.  
  
At one point, he catches Fideo and Bianca looking at each other with weird looks. Shuuya blushes and looks away.  
  
  
27.  
  
  
Finally, they get into Musei Vaticani, after a line longer than both of their lives put together.  
  
They are alone because Fideo can’t skip training every day and Bianca said something cryptic about a work meeting.  
  
So, for the first time in three days, it’s just Endou and Shuuya.  
  
There are a lot of people, tourists everywhere and Shuuya wants to survive at least to see Raffaele’s rooms and la Cappella Sistina, but it’s hard.  
Shuuya doesn’t do well in crowds. He doesn’t have problems with the attention, he can do public meetings all the time, but he has problem with the quantity of people around him and sometimes he gets to him, and maybe he gets a headache or something like that. And up until this point, the trip had been perfect, he didn’t feel like this in any other situation, but now, it’s bad. But he has to do it.  
  
Endou notices, of course, and holds his hand.  
  
“Can you breathe?” he asks, gently, his finger caressing the back of the hand he’s holding.  
  
“Yes,” Shuuya answers.  
  
“Do you want to stop?” again, same tone.  
  
“No,” Shuuya shakes his head, “I can do it… just… don’t let me go?”  
  
Endou holds tighter, “Never.”  
  
  
28.  
  
  
Shuuya is standing on Fideo and Bianca’s balcony and the city under him is alive with cars going fast on the streets and the skyscrapers lighting everything up.  
  
Endou and Fideo went out to take ice cream after Bianca told them too. Shuuya didn’t question her.  
  
He questions her when she joins him.  
  
She has her hair tied up and she leans against the balcony railing, her green eyes focused on Shuuya.  
  
“What?” he asks.  
  
He knows what she wants. She wants to talk. And talking it’s hard for Shuuya. He sees her as a friend, he’s living in her house and she’s spectacular, but, still, it’s hard. Shuuya thinks he’s too much like his father, sometimes. Emotionally unavailable and all that.  
  
“Do you like him?” Bianca looks up, at the sky. Shuuya does the same. The stars are difficult to spot, to many lights.  
  
He doesn’t know how to answer. He can’t lie, of course and what’s the point of denying anyway. She has two eyes and she’s not stupid.  
  
“Yeah. Love him, actually.”  
  
“Oh, Shuuya…” she touches him on his arm.  
  
He hums.  
  
“How long?”  
  
Shuuya thinks about it. He knows it, rationally. High school: the start. University: the fire. But he knows that it’s more, since the first day.  
  
“Uhm, almost ten years.”  
  
“ _Gesù_ , I thought you had it bad, but… ten years?” Bianca now is squeezing his arm, trying to comfort him. But he doesn’t need comfort.  
  
He’s fine.  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
“I’m not saying you are not,” Bianca explains, “I’m saying that being love with a person half of your life and not doing anything about it is…I want to say romantic, but maybe it’s just dumb.”  
  
Shuuya huffs a laugh.  
  
“So, ten years in love with Mamoru. Did you… have a boyfriend or something?”  
  
He looks at her, shocked and she smiles innocently.  
  
He sits on one of the chairs on the balcony and Bianca follows. He sighs.  
  
“I tried. Multiple times. But it won’t work. I can’t be with him and I can’t be with anyone who isn’t him. It feels…” he tries to find the word, “Wrong?”  
Bianca reaches again to touch him. She’s a very touchy person, but Shuuya finds he doesn’t mind. He trusts her.  
  
“You can’t live like this,” it’s the only thing she says after a while.  
  
She sounds too much like Kidou.  
  
“I don’t see how I can fix it. He… he would never… and I love him too much to lose him like this.”   
  
“You should tell him,” Bianca notices his face and smacks him lightly, “Don’t. Don’t tell me you won’t because you are afraid to ruin your friendship. You are a man, he’s a man. Both grown-ups. You can talk it out.”  
  
“It’s that. I don’t know if I _can_ talk to him. He’s my best friend. I don’t want… I don’t want him to hate me.”  
  
Bianca laughs, but there is no fun in that laugh, “This is way you men are miserable. You think you can resolve things with a grunt. Shuuya, it doesn’t work like that, especially when there are feelings these big. Mamoru can’t read your mind and you can’t read his. You don’t know how he will react until you talk to him. Tell him everything, tell him you are in love with him and he might surprise you. You are not giving him enough credit.”  
  
Shuuya stays quiet.  
  
“Do you trust him?” Bianca surprises him with this question and he looks at her in shock.  
  
Of course, he trusts him. Endou is his best friend, he saved him countless time without Shuuya asking. He would literally give his life for him and he knows Endou would do the same. Endou would never hurt him. Endou would never hate him.  
  
“Yes,” he murmurs.  
  
“Then trust him with your heart.”  
  
And he gets it.  
  
  
29.  
  
  
He tries to.  
  
Multiple times.  
  
He talks with Kidou and Kidou tells him to _do it, don’t look back, shoot your shoot_ (there is also Fudou on the call and it’s weird).  
  
He talks with Yuuka and she is so annoyed that she hangs up on him, after yelling to stop being a coward.  
  
He talks with Toramaru and he gets _ah, uhm, I think it’s time_.  
  
Days passes and Bianca looks at him like she knows something. Fideo too, even if he seems more occupied with Endou, who’s _restless_. He can’t stop moving, twitching, talking about the weather—something is going on with him.  
  
But even with this burden and the decision making and the jumpiness, both of them enjoy the last few days in Rome, with walks around the city, with shopping and fancy dinners offered by Bianca or Fideo or Shuuya.  
  
One night, Fideo takes them out with his Lamborghini because he feels like it’s a special occasion and takes them to eat in this restaurant with a view on the Colosseum.  
  
They are having fun playing Monopoly and Risiko every single night. Shuuya and Bianca starts cooking together, at some point.  
  
It’s nice.  
  
But the feeling of uneasiness doesn’t leave Shuuya. He needs to do it; he needs to trust Endou and he needs to trust himself.  
  
He can’t leave Rome; he can’t leave Italy until he tells Endou how he feels.  
  
But he’s fighting inside, and he keeps getting stabbed by his anxiety, his fears. It’s hard. It’s so hard to stop fighting himself.  
  
  
30.  
  
  
They book a plane. Fideo cries, Bianca holds him and then pats Endou on the shoulder when he cries too.  
  
Shuuya feels the same.  
  
In two days, they will leave. Back to Japan. Back to their life. And everything happened between them… Shuuya doesn’t want to think about it.  
  
Italy made Endou different, he made him happier (that was the end goal), but it made _different_. With Shuuya. It wasn’t the same Endou that he was in Japan. Yes, he is affectionate, and yes, he’s also touchy, but something is… not the same. And Shuuya knows this because he lived ten years without even thinking, for a single time, that Endou could… could reciprocate his feelings. But Italy, made him think that. For the first time. And he doesn’t want to lose it. He wants to stay with Fideo, and Bianca and he wants to fall asleep next to Endou every night and he wants to wake up every morning with Endou’s arm around him.  
  
But he can’t, can he.  
  
So, they book the flight.  
  
Endou asks him to go out with him, that day. He says he wants to spend some time alone, walking.  
  
Shuuya agrees.  
  
They exit the Metro Station at Piazza di Spagna and start walking from then.  
  
They don’t stop.  
  
They don’t talk.  
  
They just walk, side by side, in silence, their arms brushing, their hands too.  
  
And before Shuuya knows it, it’s sunset. They spent hours walking. They went on La terrazza del Pincio. Next was Villa Borghese, and so on and on  
until they reached Castel Sant’Angelo.  
  
They are standing on a bridge. Ponte Sant’Angelo. Full of statues of little angels looking at them and Shuuya can feel their marble eyes on him.  
  
The river Tiber is moving slowly under them, its dark green colour now familiar.  
  
Shuuya doesn’t remember the last time Endou was so quiet. Maybe, after his Grandfather’s death. But now, his silence it’s not a devasted one, he’s not. He looks like… he’s thinking. Hard. He’s thinking hard about something and Shuuya needs to wait to know what’s going on in his best friend’s head.  
  
And he waits.  
  
Endou leans on the bridge, elbows against concrete. He’s trying to find words. He lowers his head. He passes his hands through his hair. He probably  
misses the feeling of having his orange bandana on.  
  
“When Natsumi broke up with me, I didn’t understand it,” he begins and Shuuya freezes. It’s that talk, then.  
  
He takes a deep breath. He can do this. He saw them kissing, he can bare to hear it.  
  
“I thought we were doing fine. It was my first relationship and I… liked her. I guess. And my Grandpa loved her, and my family loved her and… it was okay. I wasn’t overwhelming with… feelings. It was okay. I thought this is how you are supposed to feel when you are in love. Just okay, calm, good. It was weird because I felt more passionate, more in love with soccer than with her. But I would say to myself, it’s okay, it’s normal. She didn’t think the same,” he continues, eyes fixed on the scenery.  
  
Shuuya gets close to him.  
  
“She thought I was in love. Just not with her,” Endou confesses in a whisper and Shuuya feels his eyes widen.  
  
“And my reaction was… no way, I mean, I would know how I feel, right?” it’s a rhetorical question, so Shuuya doesn’t answer to it, “And guess what? She was right. Of course, she was. She is always right, and I should stop doubting it.”  
  
Shuuya tries to say something, but he can’t find the words. What are you supposed to say in a situation like this? The only thing he can do is listen.  
  
Endou turns.  
  
His eyes shine with determination.  
  
“I’m in love with you. And it’s fucking crazy because my ex-girlfriend had to tell me I was,” he looks so honest and open and Shuuya can hear his heartbeat ever if there is some distance between them.  
  
But maybe that’s just Shuuya’s heart.  
  
He feels like he’s hallucinating, that this is just a dream and now he is going to wake up in house, alone and heartbroken.  
  
Shuuya wants to pinch himself, but he can’t move. He can’t talk. He can only stare to his best friend whose is in the middle of a declaration of love. _For him_.  
  
“At first, I was fucked. I didn’t know how to behave. And then shit hit the fan with Fifth Sector and I didn’t… I couldn’t. And then… I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know. And I can’t. I can’t lose you again. I can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you, but I needed— I needed to tell you this. All of it. And I didn’t know how. But Grandpa died and I felt like the world was angry with me and I was angry with it.”  
  
Endou stops, like he wants a reaction. But Shuuya can’t, he can’t, he _can’t._  
  
“But you are an angel,” he laughs a little and Shuuya’s heart throbs in his chest, “You are and you brought me here because you were worried and you wanted to make me happy. And you did. You always do. You have the ability to make me so happy without even trying. But… it wasn’t enough, I realized. I needed to… know. So, I tried to see if you… if you had feelings for me. The thing is you are a fucking puzzle.”  
  
Shuuya takes a deep breath.  
  
“You give me so many mixed feelings and I couldn’t understand what you wanted. I couldn’t understand if you wanted me. If you want me. And still now, I can’t. I’m here, telling you that I’m in love with you, but your face is stone cold. I—Can I kiss you?”  
  
It’s like a punch. He feels the air leave his lungs, his heart’s rate hitting the sky.  
  
_Can I kiss you?_  
  
_Can I kiss you?_  
  
_Can I kiss you?_  
  
He needs to answer.  
  
_Yes, you can_.  
  
But he can’t do it. His body is in shut down and his mind too and it’s so hard, why it is so hard?  
  
Endou is telling him he’s in love with him and his brain and his body don’t get it. Endou wants to kiss him, but his body is trying to kill him.  
  
Endou’s eyes start to lose their shine.  
  
_Oh no_.  
  
He fucked up.  
  
Endou shakes his head and turns, whole body stiff, “I’m sorry, I was wrong. Please forget it,” and he sounds like he’s about to cry.  
  
He can’t cry.  
  
Endou can’t cry.  
  
And finally, he can move again, and he can talk again.  
  
The first thing he does is to take Endou’s wrist. Shuuya pulls him and makes him spin. Now, they are facing each other, and they are so close and Shuuya, for the first time in years, knows what to do and it’s the only thing he wants to do for the rest of his life.  
  
He smiles, “I’m sorry, looks like I’m late again.”  
  
Endou doesn’t have the time to say anything because Shuuya is kissing him. Hard. Ten years of love, want, hurt, pain, affection, desire. Everything is there. Endou kisses him back immediately, and his hands are now in Shuuya’s hair and it’s perfect.  
  
Shuuya feels the fight—the long fight, finally leaving him.  
  
And he’s on fire. It’s like someone spilled oil, throwing on it a fuse on fire. Everything is burning inside of him and it’s not pain, it’s happiness. He’s bursting, he’s burning. His feelings are alive and burning like real fire. For him, for Endou. And he can’t stop. He wants more, he wants and wants and wants, and he can’t let go the other man. He keeps touching him, he needs to know that this is real, that what is going on is really happening. He needs  
to know that it’s not a dream.  
  
And they keep kissing until they both out of breath. They don’t let go of each other, Shuuya’s hands on Endou’s cheeks and Endou’s arms around his body. Shuuya touches Endou’s forehead with his and closes his eyes.  
  
“Me too... I…love you,” he says and it’s difficult, it’s so hard, and he’s trying to get air in lungs and it’s hard, “I love you so much.”  
  
It’s like destroying a dam inside himself and now the water, his feelings, are pouring out, fast and dangerously.  
  
Endou hugs him, hard. So hard he can feel his chest hurt.  
  
He doesn’t care.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says in a murmur, “I waited too long and…”  
  
“It’s okay,” Endou whispers back, so close to his ear he makes Shuuya shiver, “I’m used to you being late.”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
Then he realises that he kissed his best friend for the first time at sunset, orange light hugging them.  
  
He smiles.  
  
  
31.  
  
  
Bianca looks so satisfied when they come back holding hands.  
  
Fideo laughs so hard Shuuya is sure they can hear him in Japan.  
  
They both hug them, after.  
  
Then they play Risiko and Shuuya beats the fuck out of Fideo.  
  
  
32.  
  
  
They are boyfriends, now.  
  
That’s weird for both of them.  
  
Kidou tries not to cry. Yuuka is organizing their wedding. Toramaru says _finally_. Aki nods his approval and gives Endou a thumbs up.  
  
The kids are so happy he’s working there, now. And they are happier that their coach landed Gouenji Shuuya as a boyfriend.  
  
  
33.  
  
  
Shuuya is happy.  
  
Endou is happy.  
  
That’s all.  
  
  
(The first time Endou calls him by his first name is when they are in the soccer club room, talking about a strategy for the next game.  
  
Endou has schematics and player profiles all over the table and he’s trying to explain why is important that they have to strengthen the defending line  
instead of the attacking line first, which Shuuya thinks is bullshit because even if they have Kyousuke and Hikaru on the team, they are not perfect.  
  
“Look, I’m not saying you are wrong...”  
  
“But I’m wrong?”  
  
“You think like forward, Shuuya, it’s only natural that you—what’s going on?”  
  
Hearing his first name is a shock, too used to the way Endou says Gouenji. Endou’s voice is nice, sometimes it can be annoying, sure, but it never bothered Shuuya because he loves everything about his boyfriend. But, this is a first and the way he says his name, a mixture of exasperation and annoyance, but also affection in his tone, makes Shuuya drop the file he has in his hands and he was trying to read for the past hour.  
  
“Wha—what did you say?” He whispers and Endou looks confused.  
  
“I said that you think like a forward.”  
  
“Yes,” Shuuya says, and now he’s getting closer to Endou who is frowning. He leans over his boyfriend’s shoulder and they are so close, he could kiss him, “But you said Shuuya, not Gouenji.”  
  
For them, it’s a big deal. They have been in a relationship for a year, and the only time Endou said Shuuya was when he was angry and yelled, “Gouenji Shuuya, cut the crap!” because of something stupid Shuuya did and it doesn’t even remember what it was. They don’t have petnames, they are Gouenji and Endou and Endou and Gouenji. There is a variation in the tone, in the way they call for each other, with softness, affection, love, trust, anger, disappointment, hurt. Shuuya can hear in the way Endou says Gouenji five different things and they are all true.  
  
But this doesn’t stop Gouenji to wanting to call Endou by his first name, sometimes. And to hear Endou calling him by his first name. Only just because he likes the intimacy of it.  
“Oh,” his partner huffs, blushing a little, “It slipped.”  
  
“I liked it,” Shuuya puffs his cheeks.  
  
“You did?”  
  
“Yeah, Mamoru.”  
  
Endou gets redder and then he giggles, “I think I get it.”  
  
Shuuya gets closer and then kisses him on the lips. It’s a quick peck and Endou doesn’t have the time to respond.  
  
They are looking at each other when the soccer club room’s door opens and Kidou gets in with a disgusted expression on his face, which is absolutely  
fake and over-exaggerated.  
  
“You know that children have access to this room, right?”  
  
Shuuya straightens himself and looks at their best friend dressed in casual attire for the first time in several months, “Date?”  
  
Kidou crosses his arms on his chest, “Yes, with you two idiots. We are going to Rairaiken, right now.”  
  
Endou gets up too and says, “Okay, Yuuto.”  
  
Shuuya laughs hard at Kidou’s gaping face.  
  
“What was that?!”  
  
“I’m trying something new!” Endou—Mamoru stands closer to Shuuya, holding his hand.  
  
“Then stop,” Kidou says, but Shuuya can see the blush under his green goggles, “Please, let’s go, Fudou is waiting for us outside and I don’t trust him  
around kids.”  
  
“He loves them, you asshole.”  
  
“Still, I don’t trust him.”  
  
Mamoru keeps holding Shuuya’s hand even when he puts his arm around Kidou’s shoulder.  
  
Shuuya smiles.  
  
It’s perfect.)

**Author's Note:**

> what can i say... first, thank you for reading this! it makes me so happy if you finished this monster of a fic i wrote instead of study. second, english isn't my first language, so if something doesn't make sense, please tell me so i can fix it!  
> i wanna say this... this is something i couldn't write without my friends, ume and ana! we are currently rewatching the series and we are stupidly in love with gouen and this is basically all of our headcanons mixed together. also, bianca (i actually mixed her original name and her dub name so she is bianca prendi now) is based on chiara ferragni and fideo on fedez because... why not. and yes, i'm italian and this is my culture. im sorry for the endou daisuke bashing. actually, i'm not. and i don't like natsumi... but i don't think it's bashing...  
> this isn't my first time writing about ina11, but it's my first time after... ten years? last time i was thirteen. man, i'm old.  
> anyway! i really hope you liked this.  
> until next time... bye!


End file.
